[In a crowded computer room]Female: Dude, nobody in here even likes you.
Male: I have made love to everyone in this room!

West San Antonio, Texas

Overheard by: CCRadio

Cube girl on phone: And I’m having a really bad day. I just licked an interoffice envelope.

New York, New York

Girl: Can you keep this desk clean?
Guy: What? The desk is clean. Stop hating!
Girl: Hey, hey, don’t say that, I’m not a cock-blocker. I don’t cock-block.
Guy: What the fuck does that have to do with my desk?

350 South Figueroa
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Sexual tension in the workplace?

Guy in next cube: In my opinion, a chimney is no place to raise a family.


Overheard by: ReRo

Office lady: How can you drink that much Red Bull?
Computer nerd: I don’t know, you build up a tolerance.
Office lady: If I drank that much I’d be whacking off the walls.
Computer nerd: Umm, you’d do what?

117th St
Broomfield, Colorado

Overheard by: The other nerd

Voice in next cubicle: I forgot how much I hate space travel.

Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

Feisty secretary: Man, could that man spit!

Newcastle, Delaware

Overheard by: What else could he do?

Annoying cubette: So I say to him: “Look at Lucy*’s toes. Now look at John*’s toes.” And he’s like: “What?” And then he looks and sees he’s got seven of them and he’s like: “Wahhhh!”
Sane cubette: How many cats do you have?

Morris Plains, New Jersey

Overheard by: intern in the next cube

Female office dolt: Oh my god! I need to put my sweater away before I get fined!

Water Street
New York City, New York

Overheard by: Cubicle Gnome

Woman in cubicle on call with overseas agent: Oh, hello… were you in Slumdog Millionaire?
Confused customer service agent: What?


Overheard by: poking my eyes out with my pen