Sales guy: Oh, crap! I left the cap off my Sharpie last night! [Tries it on paper] Oh, no! What can I do?!
Cube rat #1: Well, you could try running a little water over the tip. Or, um, you could just throw it away and get a new one.
Sales guy: Put some water on it? Would that work?
Cube rat #2: Is it a Sharpie or a marker?
Cube rat #3: If putting water on it doesn’t work, try licking it.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Coworker leaning on office door: Hey, have you seen John*?
Horse puppet appears peeking from under John’s desk.
Horse puppet: John’s not here right now. Can I take a message?
Coworker, slowly backing out of office: Uh…
8700 NW River Park Drive
Parkville, Missouri
Overheard by: Hapless intern
Assistant: I became a secretary because I relate well to paper.
Goldsboro, North Carolina
Overheard by: Wow
Manager: Can you spell my email address?
IT guy: It’s your name!
Manager: I know, but could you spell it for me?
1979 Marcus Avenue
Lake Success, New York
Overheard by: Why am I the temp again?!?
Cubicle #1: Since I have to travel through Virginia next week, I’m going to take Amy*’s suggestion and get a mega millions ticket. The powerball isn’t working out so well for me.
Cubicle #2: My husband laughs at me because I want to keep working if I win the lottery.
Cubicle #3: What!?
Cubicle #2: Yeah, I want to keep working.
Cubicle #3: Well…
Cubicle #1 & #3, in unison: I wouldn’t work here.
England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Tech guy: Did you hear about all the snow in New York?
Help desk chick: Yeah, wow! That means it’ll be heading here to California.
Tech guy: (silence).
Imperial Highway Brea
California
Cube rat #1: Hey Chris, go install this on Ben's computer.
Cube rat #2: (lets out audible fart)
Cube rat #1: Never mind.
Cube rat #2: Hey, I'm only getting two bars for my laptop's Wi-Fi connection.
Cube rat #3: It's because that damn fart cloud is out blocking the signal!
Columbia, South Carolina
Overheard by: Cube Rat Holding Nose
(sound of whip cracking)
Next cubicle coworker: Ahh, my eye!
Mission Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Ian
Vietnamese coworker using cardboard to fix cubicle, happily: It's like being in refugee camp all over again.
Austin, Texas
