Manager #1: So, what do we do if any of our employees don’t show up for the mandatory Ethics Training?
VP: You direct them to the supplemental Ethics Training, online.
Manager #2: Couldn’t we just write their names in on the sign-in sheet and say that they were at the ethics thing?
Melville, New York
Bookstore clerk: Prose? I thought that was a kind of poetry.
Bookstore, Connecticut Avenue
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Doctor Whom
Employer walking into the office: President Clinton is downstairs on Wacker Drive, but I think you girls will be safe if you just stay inside.
150 South Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Office manager: Civil War Battlefield Protection, how can I help you?
Woman on phone: Yes, I’m trying to find information on the Civil War and I just can’t.
Office manager: Well, have you tried the internet?
Woman: Yes, I typed "Civil War" into Google and NOTHING comes up on the Civil War.
Office manager: …Really?
Woman: Yes… so can you tell me who was in the Civil War?
Office manager: That would be the northern states and the southern states.
Woman: Not the British?
Office manager: Um, that was the Revolutionary War.
13th Street & H Street
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Astonished
Employee #1: Yeah, so PETA has helped me understand the cruelty animals are subjected to by humans.
Employee #2: I’ve seen some of the videos. Heinous.
Employee #1: Like that shirt you’re wearing, it’s made of cotton, right? You shouldn’t be wearing it.
Employee #2: Huh? Why not?
Employee #1: It really hurts the sheep when they are shorn.
Bed Bath & Beyond
Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Debauched Angel
Attorney: Hey Jordan*, what have you done for me lately?
Jordan: Nothing, actually.
Attorney: Anything you do for the boss, you do for me!
Jordan: Well in that case, I’ve been avoiding your phone calls lately.
4 Times Square
New York, New York
Overheard by: Just looking…
Cashier #1: It’s my ten month anniversary today!
Cashier #2: That’s a long time.
Cashier #1: I know, half of a year!
640 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Guy with food in elevator: There’s the freaking writing on the wall!
Girl with food: Yeah, I know! Putting it on broccoli? Cheese?! Pretty soon she’ll just be eating ketchup by itself!
1285 Avenue of the Americas
New York, New York
Car dealership counter guy: Yes, may I help you, sir?
Customer: Uh, yeah, I think I blew a seal.
Car dealership counter guy: Pal, that sounds like a personal problem to me.
1499 Route 46
Ledgewood, New Jersey
Customer: Excuse me sir, do you think this paint color will look good in my living room?
CSA: I don’t know! I’ve never been in your living room.
150 Route 17 North
East Rutherford, New Jersey
