Metro Northeast

Co-worker #1: Wanna go eat lunch with us? We’re having Ethiopian.
Co-worker #2: Ew! You’re going to be eating beetles and shit.
Co-worker #3: Do we have to bring our own leaf to eat off of?

214 West 39th Street
New York, New York

Employee, loudly and angrily into walkie: I am implementing customer service now!

620 6th Avenue
New York, New York

Overheard by: Tigertail

Male bather: Oww! That dog just scratched my nipple!
Female groomer: Now you know why we wear boulder-holders.

92-12 Liberty Avenue
Ozone Park, New York

Female manager: Where did you eat?
Male manager: My guilty secret…McDonald’s!
Female manager: Oh. Don’t take this the wrong way, but…I actually don’t know anybody who’s eaten at a McDonald’s.

1 Liberty Plaza
New York, New York

Visiting salesgirl: Hi, I’m here to see Carrie Bradshaw.
Receptionist: Do you mean Carrie Schwartz?
Visiting salesgirl: No, I’m pretty sure her name was Carrie Bradshaw.
Receptionist: We don’t have a Carrie Bradshaw. Carrie Bradshaw is from Sex and the City.

245 5th Avenue
New York, New York

Manager: Can you spell my email address?
IT guy: It’s your name!
Manager: I know, but could you spell it for me?

1979 Marcus Avenue
Lake Success, New York

Overheard by: Why am I the temp again?!?

Coworker: There is a really neat installation art center in Omaha.
Boss: What city in Omaha?
Coworker: Uh… Omaha.
Boss: Right, but what city?
Coworker: [Long pause] Hard to say.

Woodhaven, New York

Supervisor: What are you doing?
College kid #1: Spraying each other.
Supervisor: Do you know what is in those bottles?
College kid #2: No.
Supervisor: Why would you spray each other with something you don’t know?
College kid #2: It’s fun.
Supervisor: It’s acetone!
College kid #1: Is that like water or something?
Supervisor: God, I’m going back to my office.

465 Paul Road
Rochester, New York

Overheard by: Nick I

Cube rat #1: Damn, you had braces for seven years and your teeth are still that fucked up?
Cube rat #2: Yeah? You’ve been on a diet for two years and your ass is still that fat?

Trenton, New Jersey

Coworker #1: Did it rain while you were in Chicago?
Coworker #2: Nope.
Coworker #1: Oh, that’s good. I saw on the Weather Channel that it was raining in Virginia, and I got worried.

42 South Street
Hopkinton, Massachusetts