Starbucks customer: Yes, I’d like a grande Dolce & Gabbana latte?
Extremely patient barrista: You mean a Dolce cinnamon latte?
Starbucks customer: No! I said Dolce & Gabbana, and that’s what I want!
Extremely patient barrista: I’m sorry, ma’am, we don’t sell that here anymore.
Starbucks, Indian River Road
Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: a smarter customer.
Customer: Is fifty percent off of $100, like, $50?
Employee: No. Not at all. It usually works out to $35.95.
Customer: Really?
2223 Victoria Avenue East
Regina, Saskatchewan
Agent: Thank you for calling the help desk. Can I have your first and last name, please?
Customer: Is Eudora down?
Agent: Um, Eudora is a program that is isolated on your computer. It is not a system or network of everyone’s email.
Customer: Is Eudora [campus email] down?
Agent: No.
Customer: I’ll call my cable company.
Customer hangs up.
University of Wisconsin
Madison, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Brandon
Customer rep on phone: No, ma’am. I’m sorry but I can’t come to your room and fix your equipment….because I’m not on the third floor. I’m in Denver and you’re in San Francisco.
11400 Westmoor
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: losing patience
Fat lady: I want your 21-piece bucket of chicken.
Rude employee: Is that for here, or to go?
Fat lady: You think I can eat this whole thing by myself?
Rude employee: I don’t know your life. Bitch!
1406 Saint Charles Avenue
New Orleans, Louisiana
Car dealership counter guy: Yes, may I help you, sir?
Customer: Uh, yeah, I think I blew a seal.
Car dealership counter guy: Pal, that sounds like a personal problem to me.
1499 Route 46
Ledgewood, New Jersey
Customer: Excuse me sir, do you think this paint color will look good in my living room?
CSA: I don’t know! I’ve never been in your living room.
150 Route 17 North
East Rutherford, New Jersey
CSR: So then he goes, “This is Motorola, right? Because with that voice of yours, for a second there, I thought I called the wrong number” oh, but it didn’t stop there…he keeps on with “you know, like, a 900 number, right?” I mean, eww…I did not need to know that.
1301 East Algonquin
Schaumburg, Illinois
CSR #1: A guy on line 260 needs pricing.
Tech: His name is Pricing?
CSR #2: No, his name is “A guy.”
4123 E La Palma
Anaheim, California
CSR: Seriously, when you think you’ve gotten the weirdest call you could get…someone calls about a conch shell.
11150 Santa Monica Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Lindroid
