CSR: The best way to get through lasers is break dancing!
Columbus, Ohio
CSR: The best way to get through lasers is break dancing!
Columbus, Ohio
Employee: Okay, I’m going to hang up now, but I want you to continue talking.
524 West 57th Street
New York, New York
CSR on phone with customer: Well, are you normally a weak-minded person?
175 South 3rd Street
Columbus, Ohio
CSR: Yes, if you do your payment online it can take two business days to post.
Customer: The other person told me 48 hours! Which one is it? I’m always given different information!
411 Smithfield Street
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: mrswackado
Patron: Ummm, I’m looking for a book.
Librarian: Okay, well, do you know what it’s called?
Patron: No.
Librarian: Do you know who wrote it?
Patron: No.
Librarian: Are you just hoping that we have some sort of book?
Patron: Yeah.
Librarian: You know you’re in a fuckin’ library, right?
Austin Public Library
Austin, Texas
Elderly customer: I’d also like a two-liter of Coke.
20-something cashier, smiling: Certainly.
Elderly customer: You know, I really like your demeanor and attitude.
20-something cashier: Up yours, old man.
Elderly customer: [Stunned silence.]20-something cashier: Have a nice day!
6780 Goshen Road
Goshen, Ohio
Overheard by: Delivery Expert
Librarian: Have you met the new assistant director? He reminds me a lot of Randy — you know — Ralphie’s little brother from A Christmas Story. Nobody wants to hang out with him. The other day I asked him how he was, and he actually held up a piece of rope and said, ‘Oh, I’m hanging in there!’ and gave me a creepy smile.
60 7th Street
Garden City, New York
Overheard by: Grace
Waitress: What can I get for you this evening?
Tourist: My brother here really wants to try some sushi, but he’s never had any.
Brother: I’m afraid I can’t handle the sushi.
Waitress: Oh, honey, no man can handle the sushi.
Sushi Samba
New York, New York
Manager on phone to computer terminal manufacturer: That terminal still isn’t working properly, and if you don’t fix it soon the customer is going to tell me to shove it up my ass… And I’m not prepared to do that at this time.
1462 Erie Boulevard
Schenectady, New York
Overheard by: It wouldn’t fit mine
Creepster hitting on CSA: Hey, there you are again.
CSA, without making eye contact: …Hey.
Creepster: You know what? You so beautiful.
CSA doesn’t respond.
Creepster, with spittle flying from between front teeth: Has anyone ever told you that you’re very photo-generic?
Animal Hospital
Charlotte, North Carolina
Overheard by: another CSA
