Customer Service

Customer: I want to pay my bill. I know it’s two months overdue, so I
wanted to come and pay it in person.
Customer Service: According to our records they shut off your cable today.
Customer: But they said I had until today to pay the bill.
Customer Service: Well, your cable has been shut off today.
Customer: But today’s not over yet!
Customer Service: It is for you.

11020 Flatlands Avenue
Brooklyn, New York

Overheard by: Paul 

Office worker on speakerphone: Hello.
Creepy customer: I was just sitting here eating some creamed corn and thinking about you so I thought that I would give you a call.
Office worker: Please hold and I will transfer you to my supervisor.

1st Avenue
Birmingham, Alabama

Help Desk #1: Who should we send?
Help Desk #2: Let’s send [Jessica].
Help Desk #3: She’s perfect.
Help Desk #2: Of course, she’s female.
Help Desk #1: Yeah, she’s very female!

123 Pitkin Road
Plainfield, Vermont

CSR: Ma’am, my system is backed up and my computer is going down on me. 

300 Rosewood Drive
Danvers, Massachusetts

CSR: So you’d like to rent a 12 foot stepladder?
Customer: Yes…How big is that?
CSR: Well, it’s about 12 feet, sir.
Customer: I can strap that on top of a cab, right? 

533 Canal Street
New York, NY

Employee, loudly and angrily into walkie: I am implementing customer service now!

620 6th Avenue
New York, New York

Overheard by: Tigertail

Customer rep: Hey, it’s 112 inches tall. Is that legal?
Truck rep: No.
Customer rep: Well, we’re doing it anyway.

1368 Old Fannin Road, Suite 400
Flowood, Mississippi

Overheard by: the Intern

Customer: Can you put directions for the delivery man on the label?
CSR: Sure.
Customer: Tell him to give it to me through the back door.
CSR: The back door?
Customer: Yeah.

473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey

Overheard by: office peon

CSR to coworker: I don’t really understand sororities. I’ve always been able to make friends, get drunk and have random sex without having to pay dues.

Nashville, Tennessee

Customer service “specialist”: Sir, I was not yelling, I was only raising my voice.

Sunnyvale, California