CSR on phone: Yes, I know. I’m sorry, I am French.
Percepta, Sauchiehall Street
Glasgow
Scotland
CSR on phone: Yes, I know. I’m sorry, I am French.
Percepta, Sauchiehall Street
Glasgow
Scotland
CSR on phone: And what size product do you have?
Customer: Where do I find that?
CSR: It should be on the front of the label, probably on the bottom.
Customer: No, it’s not there. All it says there is ‘Eight fulozos.’
CSR: Uh… Do you mean ‘Eight fluid ounces’?
Customer: No… It says ‘Fulozos.’
1905 Aston Avenue
Carlsbad, California
Cell phone technician: This is Mariah*, how can I help you?
Customer: Yes ma’am, I just bought the Sony Exorcism phone, and…
7111 N Prince Street
Clovis, New Mexico
Overheard by: it’s a sony ERICSSON!!!! LMAO
Accounts payable tech: It’s the letter eight. I mean the number eight.
6430 S. Fiddler’s Green Circle
Denver, Colorado
Barista: What are you going to do when you grow up?
Little girl: Doctor.
Barista: You want to be a doctor? That’s wonderful!
Little girl: No. Mommy told me to marry doctor and have kids. I want 27!
Ft Valley Road
Flagstaff, Arizona
Customer support rep: Okay, let’s take a look at the installation instructions.
Customer: You mean that little book? That looked like documentation so I threw it away.
Fairfax, Virginia
Clerk: Ma’am I can’t take this money.
Lady: Why not? It’s good American money.
Clerk: Ma’am this money is from Canada.
Lady: Is Canada not the 50th state of the U.S. or are you stupid or something?
Clerk: I’m not the one that’s stupid.
13697 W. Colonial Drive
Winter Garden, Florida
Client: Why do I have financial charges? It was a plan for "same as cash" for eighteen months.
CSR: Well, sir, we sent you eighteen months of statements telling you that if you don’t pay by the due date, you’ll have financial charges to pay and exactly how much they would be.
Client: You expected me to read my mail?
Citibank
Toronto, Canada
Overheard by: Citi Slicker
Customer: I know it sounds like my husband drinks too much, but he really doesn’t.
Alcohol-company CSR: Hey, I talk about alcohol all day long. You can’t shock me.
Customer: Well, I write erotica, so I talk about sex all day long!
Alcohol-company CSR: Really?
Customer: Yeah. I just turned in my manuscript today, but it was three weeks late. I keep telling my editor, “I don’t write smut on demand!” But I write very good smut.
800 Market Street
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Easily Entertained
Heated caller: So let me understand this: if I die, I get $100,000?
CSS rep: No. If you pass, your beneficiary will receive $100,000.
Heated caller: But it is my money. I am paying the premium for it. I should be able to get my money. Why can’t I have my money?!
CSS rep: Because you will be dead, ma’am.
Heated caller: That’s ridiculous. I want to speak with a manager.
1 Sartan Way
Merrimack, New Hampshire
Overheard by: CSS Nightmare
