Co-worker on phone: Hello? I need to talk to the Chinese girl…I don’t remember her name…”Sing-song”, or something like that.

2300 East Prospect Road
Fort Collins, Colorado

New hire: Lord, I am not drinking any of this company’s water. There are entirely too many pregnant people here.

9106 E. Panorama Circle
Englewood, Colorado

Overheard by: Homer Thompson

Chiropractor to patient: We are both usually adjusting at the same time, so it is hard to pin down one another.

Englewood, Colorado

Overheard by: Receptionist

65-something delivery man to 30-something female receptionist, as she bends over to lift printer:
Oh, wait, let me do that. I don't want you to hurt your ovaries.

Denver, Colorado

(desk girl is on long, heated phone call with same client for fifth time before noon, hangs up, and sighs)
Coworker: Do you hear them in your sleep?

West Main Street
Aspen, Colorado

Guy on speakerphone: How was your weekend?
VP: Good. How was yours?
Guy on speakerphone: Oh, you know — same old, same old… Just spent it trying to avoid my wife.

5690 DTC Boulevard
Greenwood Village, Colorado

Office lady: How can you drink that much Red Bull?
Computer nerd: I don’t know, you build up a tolerance.
Office lady: If I drank that much I’d be whacking off the walls.
Computer nerd: Umm, you’d do what?

117th St
Broomfield, Colorado

Overheard by: The other nerd

Office worker: Check out this description in this help wanted ad. “Customer relations: Must have the ability to communicate effectively both internally and externally with all customers.”

Aspen, Colorado

Lady suit, at lunch: How is it?
Male suit: It needs something.
Lady suit: Perhaps you should have asked for a more aggressive vegetable.

9th Street and Main Avenue
Durango, Colorado

Suit to other: I just don't understand why the minority whip is never a minority.

Denver, Colorado