Underling: Can I borrow your scissors?
Boss: Depends if you’re going to committ any crimes.
Underling: Just crimes against filing.
1 Easton Oval
Columbus, Ohio
Underling: Can I borrow your scissors?
Boss: Depends if you’re going to committ any crimes.
Underling: Just crimes against filing.
1 Easton Oval
Columbus, Ohio
Manager: [Tim], are you going over the off-site location?
Intern: Yes, I have to pick up the loaner laptop for [Kelly].
Manager: Can you drop this off to shipping and receiving while you are there? Might as well stone 2 birds.
730 International Parkway
Richardson, Texas
Co-worker #1: We have so much more room in the office now, [Erin] and I can dance.
Boss: Let’s see you dance
Co-worker #2: Naw, she can’t do it without a pole.
50 Public Square
Cleveland, Ohio
CSR on phone: Okay, I’m sending a trouble ticket up for investigation on that for you. Here’s the ticket number in case you want to call and yell at us.
4800 Concentric Boulevard
Saginaw, Michigan
Employee #1: Stop flinging eyedrops on me!
Employee #2: I am trying to exorcise the demons in you.
Bldg 5302 Sparkman Circle
Redstone Arsenal, Alabama
SysAdmin: What users do you want me to move to the Gig Harbor office?
User on speaker: [Melinda] from Kirkland.
SysAdmin: I show [Melinda] as being in Reno.
User on speaker: Oh, maybe that’s her sister.
SysAdmin: Her sister is also named [Melinda]?…Hello?
User on speaker: Can I call you back on that?
8655 South Eastern Avenue
Las Vegas, Nevada
Boss on phone: If I ever do something that dumb again I want you to hit me. Hit me like a woman!
1621 18th Street
Denver, Colorado
Admin: Some angry guys are going to come in the office looking for one of the executives. They may threaten you and yell at you but just tell them to go away. Whatever you do, don’t bother us with it.
Receptionist: Okay, while I’m up here fighting for my life, I’ll be sure not to bother you all.
817 West Peachtree Street NW
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Elle George
Worker: If you see [Jen] or [Jake], can you tell them I need to talk to them?
Boss: What for?
Worker: I just need to ask them about this thing for Thursday.
Boss: Oh, I don’t know anything about that. You’ll have to ask [Jen] or [Jen] about it.
120 West First Avenue
Mesa, Arizona
Assistant: Yeah, we need one of those industrial-sized–
Director: Oh, I know, you can shred a baby in one of those things!
1050 Thomas Jefferson Street NW
Washington, DC
