Frustrated lawyer on phone: I know they are engineers! But I cannot draft a contract using only Venn diagrams, mathematic equations and animé references!

Lamar Overland Park

Overheard by: Needs A Drink

Teacher #1: What are they raising all this money for?
Teacher #2: For this lady in the cleaning crew. Apparently, her purse was stolen and she lost nine hundred bucks that she was planning to send home to her family in Mexico.
Teacher #1: Where’s my nine hundred bucks? Since I started working here, I lost everything.

444 Pleasantville Road
Briarcliff Manor, New York

Disgruntled teacher: Well, we need advance notice when the file server's going to be down, especially when we work on final exams and stuff.
Principal: Duly noted.
Tall teacher: And ignored.

Hancock, New York

Real estate agent #1: My son is teaching himself how to play guitar! He's getting real good!
Real estate agent #2: That's great! What's he using?
Real estate agent #1: This program called Guitar Hero.

Morris Plains, New Jersey

Overheard by: JMB

Coworker #1: Our annual report is going to be delivered today. Please let me know when it arrives.
Coworker #2: How often do we get that?

University of Michigan, Ann Arbor

Teacher: My birthday is tomorrow. I can't believe I'm going to be 35!
Student teacher: I'm only 23.
Teacher: When I was 23, I was going to chapel at university while smoking pot!

Tulsa, Oklahoma

Overheard by: Really??

CSR to coworker: I don't really understand sororities. I've always been able to make friends, get drunk and have random sex without having to pay dues.

Nashville, Tennessee

Boss: So what school did you go to again?
Worker: The University of Illinois.
Boss: Right…that's an Ivy League school, right?
Worker: (stunned silence)

Boston, Massachusetts

Customer: I need to get a dozen and a half, mixed.
Clerk, counting on her day-glo orange fingernails: It’d be cheaper if you got 18.
Customer: What’s the difference?
Clerk: ten cents.
Smirking customer: Ok, I’ll take 18.

Dunkin’ Donuts
Columbia, South Carolina

Overheard by: are u kidding me?

Male visitor: I am here because of a class that I missed due to my court case. She (points to professor) told me I could get credit if I showed her my subpoenas.

Campbell University
North Carolina