No Need to Get All Pissy

Law clerk #1: Yeah, we got our class ranks last week.
Law clerk #2: Ugh! My school is taking forever. I should write them a letter. I'm so mad. I just want them to know how incontinent they are.

Chicago, Illinois

Posted on September 2, 2022
Education, Illinois, Lawyers, Weirdness, Words

I See Your Attempt at Humor, and I Refuse to Acknowledge It

Deskie #1: What’s that smell? Sulfur? Rotten eggs?
Deskie #2: I have it figured out: It’s Halloween, and all these girls are walking around with nothing covering areas which haven’t been exposed in public since last Halloween.
Deskie #1: I don’t get why that is relevant.

Front desk, Central Michigan University
Mount Pleasant, Michigan

Overheard by: Not A Deskie

Posted on August 30, 2022
Body Parts, Coworkers, Education, General Idiocy, Holidays, Insults, Michigan, Sensory Experiences

I Myself Am a Pepperoni-American

Professor: America is a melting pot.
Dude: America is not a melting pot… It’s more of a Lunchable. We are all in the same place, but we keep to our own little compartments.

1906 College Heights Boulevard
Bowling Green, Kentucky

Overheard by: hyacinth_hunter

Posted on August 16, 2022
Education, Kentucky, Midsouth, Office Politics, Race, Teachers, United States

For One Thing, There’ll Be Repercolations in the Foreign Markets

Boss: So what would be the wider business implamications of this?

Canberra
Australia

Overheard by: glad she wasn’t in that meeting

Posted on July 31, 2022
Australia, Default, Dumb Bosses, Education, General Idiocy, Questions, Words

Gives a Mean Blowjob, Though

Coworker to another: My son got into GATE classes… He's not even smart!

Orange County, California

Posted on July 31, 2022
California, Coworkers, Education, Family, General Idiocy

I'm Hoping to Put Everything Right With a Deathbed Confession

Professor: What's the big deal? I don't understand what I did wrong here.
Angry grad student: You put information in that grant that is absolutely wrong! You totally misconstrued the results!
Professor: Well…fine, but I said it was “early preliminary data,” so it should be okay.

Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: LabCat

Posted on July 4, 2022
Education, General Idiocy, Maryland, Questions, Science, Students, Teachers

12PM Lunch

Female manager: Where did you eat?
Male manager: My guilty secret…McDonald’s!
Female manager: Oh. Don’t take this the wrong way, but…I actually don’t know anybody who’s eaten at a McDonald’s.

1 Liberty Plaza
New York, New York

Posted on June 21, 2022
Education, Meals and Snacks, Metro Northeast

Another Reason Not to Take Advice from People with Footwear Issues

Guy with loafers but no socks on cell: Hi son, it's me. Am I going to see you at the club tonight, or are you staying home? Oh, okay. So did you switch your class schedule? So now you're taking gym instead of business law? Terrific! That's great. Okay, see you soon. Bye.

New Haven, Connecticut

Overheard by: who calls their son