Coworker on phone: Honest? I am very honest. I am also very loyal to the company I work for. I give 110% to them every day.
Pause
Coworker on phone: Sure, I can interview with you tomorrow morning.
730 International Parkway
Richardson, Texas
Overheard by: El Gee
Telemarketing lady: There’ll be no laughing in this office. That’s right, no levitation.
121 Monmouth Street
Red Bank, NJ
Overheard by: Heidi Schwartz
Suit #1: Why is the boss laughing like that?
Suit #2: She’s reading the staff’s self evaluations.
3 2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Co-worker #1: You starting your transformation into Bob Dole?
Co-worker #2: Yeah, I already have a sore wrist.
1001 I Street
Sacramento, California
Manager: We need to be ducked-rowed here as there will be a lot of scrutiny given we’ve had the opportunity to reoutlook the schedule twice now and yet the schedule continues to slip.
229 8th Street SW
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Consultant: This meeting is just too important to involve company employees.
100 East Rivercenter Boulevard
Covington, Kentucky
Co-worker #1: I just want to confirm that this is your fault.
Co-worker #2: Yeah.
Co-worker #1: Great. Thanks.
1932 Highland Avenue
Cincinnati, Ohio
Co-worker: I don’t really pay that much attention to politics. I mean, I don’t even know the difference between a Republican and a Dominican.
Sullivan Barracks
Mannheim, Germany
HR: You miscoded your timesheets as vacation instead of holiday.
Employee: What difference does it make? It’s a day off. Can’t you just fix it?
HR: The difference is that it put you over on your vacation time for the year.
Employee: But it was a holiday. Can’t you just fix it?
HR: Do you know how many days off you have per year?
Employee: Yes, but holiday/vacation, it’s all a day off.
HR: Tell that to the employee that just got let go for miscoding time.
Employee: …I’ll fix it.
4400 Post Oak Parkway
Houston, Texas
Worker: So the Christmas party is mandatory?
Boss: Of course not, but if you don’t show you’ll probably be ostracized.
Worker: …And I have to sign a waiver to drink?
Boss: Do you think a company of lawyers would let everyone drink, then drive, and not cover their asses?
962 Coronado Boulevard
Universal City, Texas
