Office Politics

Office drone: It’s like… once you see the purple elephant walk into the room, you just don’t care.

490 1st Avenue South
St. Petersburg, Florida

Overheard by: django

Office grunt: I wish they would come to see if our workplace is killing us.

11 4th Street
Providence, Rhode Island

Overheard by: cuberat

Peon, about new manager: We can be flexible and try new things and watch it blow up in her face.

Wausau, Wisconsin

Boss: Please stop reading up on our client. I need you to be able to do your job… It’s a moral grey area.

1320 South Val Vista Drive
Mesa, Arizona

Employee: These file drawers are really getting overloaded.
Supervisor: Yeah, time for some perjury.

Westlake, Ohio

Overheard by: Giddy-up!

Coworker #1 : Yo, did y’all know Robert E. Lee was an Aborigine?

Long pause.

Coworker #2: Do you mean ‘abolitionist’?
Coworker #1: Oh, yeah.

1434 Larimer Street
Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: John Howard

Toy store clerk #1: Hey, Jessie*, do we still have any of those Communist uniforms?
Toy store clerk #2: I don’t think so.
Toy store clerk #1: What about the Communist soldier figurines?
Toy store clerk #2: Hm… I don’t think so.
Toy store clerk #1: Do we have anything Communist-related?
Toy store clerk #2: I think we still have the stick-on Communist facial hair…

29th Street and Guadalupe Street
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: amused socialist

Contract attorney: Ann Coulter? She looks like a bag full of antlers.

575 7th Street NW
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Daniel

Man: Why are you allowing a day spa? I didn’t think you allowed day spas in this town. When you have day spas you attract people who get facials, and we don’t want those kinds of people in this town!

Redlands City Hall
Redlands, California

Guy: Are you a Republican?
Girl: No, I am a Demonican.
Guy: You mean Democrat?
Girl: Let’s change the subject.
Guy: Okay, well, who did you vote for in the 2004 election?
Girl: Clinton.
Guy: Yeah, let’s change the subject.

The Coffee Tree, 223 Watson Boulevard
Warner Robins, Georgia

Overheard by: Jonathan Willis