Office Politics

Office worker: Check out this description in this help wanted ad. “Customer relations: Must have the ability to communicate effectively both internally and externally with all customers.”

Aspen, Colorado

Manager: So Mike* is leaving.
Office peon #1: Will anyone notice? What does he do, anyway?
Office peon #2: He's a fluffer.
Office peon #1: What?!
Office peon #2: What? He, y'know, fluffs out his job so it looks like he's doing more than he is.
Manager to office peon #1: After the meeting, you explain.


Overheard by: EarleyDaysYet

Coworker to another: What do you want to me to say to them? A lot of my job is lying. And overcharging.

Chicago, Illinois

Staff doctor to resident: You did a pelvic and you didn’t charge for it? Girl, if you look at the coochie you gotta charge for it!

2955 Farnam Street
Omaha, Nebraska

Boss to intern: The gym is a great place for networking. You tend to have a bit more pull with your colleagues when you see them naked in the locker room every morning.

Bellingham, Washington

Woman: Man, I got so shitfaced last night. Major hangover. I’m not gonna get anything done.
Lackey: Well, good thing you’re a VP. You can get away with that kind of thing.
Woman: I know, right? And I don’t even have a college education!
Lackey: Guess I wasted those four years and workday sobriety for nothing. And all this time I could have been a hungover dropout.
Woman: Live and learn!

Providence, Rhode Island

Overheard by: Kate

Producer: Alan Greenspan is leaving the Fed and so our business anchor is crying.

1 Time Warner Center
New York, NY

Overheard by: The McCrum

Library clerk to hobo taking food out of food drive box: Hey, you can't just take that!
Hobo: Yo, I'm just cutting out the middleman, brother.

Ft. Lauderdale, Florida

Secretary: You can’t do that!
VP: I’m like Bush. I answer to God.
Secretary: You answer to me!
VP: Isn’t that what I just said?

10559 Citation Drive
Brighton, Michigan

Overheard by: Abigail Fisher

Professor: America is a melting pot.
Dude: America is not a melting pot… It’s more of a Lunchable. We are all in the same place, but we keep to our own little compartments.

1906 College Heights Boulevard
Bowling Green, Kentucky

Overheard by: hyacinth_hunter