Boss: So, the word from corporate is that we’re supposed to hang these on the windows as part of the new plan from Marketing?
Marketing assistant: Yeah.
Boss: But corporate service requirements say we’re not ever allowed to hang anything on any windows.
Marketing assistant: Right. Essentially, we have to figure out a way to put them on the windows without actually putting them on the windows.
Boss: Awesome.
West Creek Drive
Richmond, Virginia
Disgruntled teacher: Well, we need advance notice when the file server's going to be down, especially when we work on final exams and stuff.
Principal: Duly noted.
Tall teacher: And ignored.
Hancock, New York
Office worker: Check out this description in this help wanted ad. “Customer relations: Must have the ability to communicate effectively both internally and externally with all customers.”
Aspen, Colorado
Manager: So Mike* is leaving.
Office peon #1: Will anyone notice? What does he do, anyway?
Office peon #2: He's a fluffer.
Office peon #1: What?!
Office peon #2: What? He, y'know, fluffs out his job so it looks like he's doing more than he is.
Manager to office peon #1: After the meeting, you explain.
Brisbane
Australia
Overheard by: EarleyDaysYet
Coworker to another: What do you want to me to say to them? A lot of my job is lying. And overcharging.
Chicago, Illinois
Staff doctor to resident: You did a pelvic and you didn’t charge for it? Girl, if you look at the coochie you gotta charge for it!
2955 Farnam Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Boss to intern: The gym is a great place for networking. You tend to have a bit more pull with your colleagues when you see them naked in the locker room every morning.
Bellingham, Washington
Woman: Man, I got so shitfaced last night. Major hangover. I’m not gonna get anything done.
Lackey: Well, good thing you’re a VP. You can get away with that kind of thing.
Woman: I know, right? And I don’t even have a college education!
Lackey: Guess I wasted those four years and workday sobriety for nothing. And all this time I could have been a hungover dropout.
Woman: Live and learn!
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Kate
Producer: Alan Greenspan is leaving the Fed and so our business anchor is crying.
1 Time Warner Center
New York, NY
Overheard by: The McCrum
Library clerk to hobo taking food out of food drive box: Hey, you can't just take that!
Hobo: Yo, I'm just cutting out the middleman, brother.
Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
