Program manager: I think we should adopt the behaviours from the charter for meetings of the [Partnerships] section. [Steven], why don’t you read them out?
[Steven]: Respect other’s opinions and feelings, stay focused, turn off mobile phones, question self before others, participate enthusiastically and share experience and knowledge, have some fun….
Employee: Anyone telling me to have some fun at meetings better think again.
Elizabeth Street, Surry Hills
Sydney, Australia
Overheard by: Ness
Department Head: So, can we update your job description tomorrow morning?
Employee: No, I have a color correction session to attend.
Department Head: Well, I notice you don’t take lunch. You’re usually at your desk. What about then?
Employee: I do take lunch. I just eat at my desk and read a book or something.
Department Head: Well, how about doing something more productive with that time? Do you want to meet then?
Employee: No.
6423 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Officer: So apparently the greeting of the day is “Rock that ass”.
3rd Infantry Division Headquarters
Baghdad, Iraq
Manager: It’s just our department in this meeting, [the other department] isn’t coming.
Supervisor: How do you know?
Manager: I went to [Brenda] and asked where her meeting is, and she said she doesn’t have a meeting.
Employee: So if this is our meeting, where are we supposed to be?
Supervisor: I reserved the conference room for my meeting, but the door is closed. Is this my meeting?
Manager: I think so. It’s nobody else’s.
Supervisor: So then, where are we going?
535 Routes 6 & 209
Milford, Pennsyvlania
Co-worker #1: I have my big meeting tomorrow.
Co-worker #2: What meeting?
Co-worker #1: You know! The meeting where I’m going to stand up and say, “Fuck this! I quit!”
122 South Main Street
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Worker #1: Do you have any time available to meet on Thursday?
Worker #2: It will be pretty tough; I have back to back meetings all day.
Worker #1: How about 11AM?
Worker #2: Okay, I have nothing scheduled at all between 9AM and 5PM.
140 Broadway
New York, NY
Overheard by: HardlyWorking
Department Head: You don’t get to choose what the conference is on, there is a pre-set list and they will be allocated around the team.
Co-worker: In that case I think I’ll run a conference on Pathfinders.
Websters Ropery
Ropery Road, Sunderland
UK
Overheard by: Jennifer Stevenson
Chair: The beauty of this meeting is that we don’t need to make any decisions.
2000 Navy Pentagon
Washington, DC
Angry suit: It’s like I need to come to every meeting if I want to know what’s actually going on!
Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: At EVERY Meeting
Worker: The vendor wants to come in to finalize the program we discussed last month. Can you meet with him next week?
Boss: No, I am booked all week. Wasn't he supposed to send some follow up information?
Worker: I don't know, I was eating lunch.
Washington, DC
