Worker: The vendor wants to come in to finalize the program we discussed last month. Can you meet with him next week?
Boss: No, I am booked all week. Wasn't he supposed to send some follow up information?
Worker: I don't know, I was eating lunch.
Washington, DC
Manager: Okay, are we all here? Good. Let's flash Tom*. (picks up the phone and hits the star button)
Confernce Room
Boston, Massachusetts
Male sales rep, about client meeting: So, I heard you were out with a bunch of guys.
Female sales rep: Yeah, four of them!
Male sales rep: Wow, you need a towel?
Omaha, Nebraska
JP Morgan Office Manager: Do he know he have a meeting? Her said he have a meeting.
38 W. 75th Street
New York, NY
Office worker: Do you know what that meeting was about?
Manager: Nope.
Office worker: But, what did we talk about?
Manager: Don’t know, don’t care, anyway, the cookies were nice.
Office worker: They were, weren’t they?
Bezuidenhoutseweg
The Hague
The Netherlands
Overheard by: bewildered
Manager: So Mike* is leaving.
Office peon #1: Will anyone notice? What does he do, anyway?
Office peon #2: He's a fluffer.
Office peon #1: What?!
Office peon #2: What? He, y'know, fluffs out his job so it looks like he's doing more than he is.
Manager to office peon #1: After the meeting, you explain.
Brisbane
Australia
Overheard by: EarleyDaysYet
Employee #1: Can you print the report for the meeting?
Employee #2: Should I print a copy for everyone who will be there?
Employee #1: No, one should be fine; all 15 of them can crowd around and look at it together.
2240 North 1st Street
San Jose, California
Event planner: Don't you think we should have background music?
Manager: That would be too expensive.
Event planner: What about just one person playing a harp?
Manager: Do you know someone?
Event planner: Yeah. I know a harpoonist.
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Tim
Magazine writer #1: So, it turned out the chick I took home from the party was a gymnast!
Staff members: Wow… That’s hot… Lucky git…
Magazine writer #2: Why, what’s so great about gymnasts?
Magazine writer #1: Um… Well, they’re really flexible…
Magazine writer #2: Oh, well, you should see the guy gymnasts, then!
Staff members: [Silence.]
35-51 Mitchell Street
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: and he’s OUT!
Presenter: We're going to go over our organization's strengths and weaknesses now. So, do you want to talk about how much we suck or how much we rock first?
Audience member: That's what she said.
STAND Conference, Harvard
Cambridge, Massachusetts
