Washington DC

Attorney: We’re smarter for making the correct decision to the everyday question: drink or work? Correct answer: drink and work.

717 Madison Place NW
Washington, DC

PR: [Linda], it’s me. Could you buzz me when the news crew gets here…[Linda]?
Receptionist on speaker: Well…uh…[Eric] asked me to buzz him when they got here.
PR: Um, okay?
Receptionist on speaker: [Eric Dixon].
PR: I know who [Eric] is.
Receptionist on speaker: See, yeah, the thing is that [Eric], [Eric Dixon], uh, just called and asked me to buzz him when the news crew gets here.
PR: Yes.
Receptionist on speaker: So, what? Do you think…it would be better if I buzzed you instead? Because [Eric Dixon] asked me…
PR: Do you think you could just buzz both of us?
Receptionist on speaker: Oh. Yeah, I guess I could do that.

1875 Connecticut Avenue NW
Washington, DC

Overheard by: frau

Chair: The beauty of this meeting is that we don’t need to make any decisions.

2000 Navy Pentagon
Washington, DC

Worker #1: Congratulations on your engagement and your new job! When is your last day?
Worker #2: Next Wednesday, thanks.
Worker #3: Are you leaving so soon because of that pooper ring on your finger?
Worker #2: “Pooper ring”?
Worker #3: Yes, you know…You had to take it in the pooper to get a ring that big.

1600 21st Street NW
Washington, DC

Worker: The vendor wants to come in to finalize the program we discussed last month. Can you meet with him next week?
Boss: No, I am booked all week. Wasn't he supposed to send some follow up information?
Worker: I don't know, I was eating lunch.

Washington, DC

Male grunt: If my mouse stops working, I’m going to go home.
Female grunt: Well, did you try jiggling it?
Male grunt: Yeah, I jiggled the shit out of it. [Female grunt giggles.]

Foggy Bottom
Washington, DC

Male worker to female lunch companion: See, the good thing about you is that you can really pack it in. I mean, most girls can’t do that.

12th and G Street NW
Washington, DC

Overheard by: i like to eat too

20-ish female coworker: I’ve never understood why people do lines of coke off of toilet seats at clubs.
Middle-aged male coworker: Well, it’s not as wet as the sink…
20-ish female coworker: But isn’t that dirty?
Middle-aged male coworker: No one ever poops at a club.

1054 31st Street NW
Washington, DC

Overheard by: I prefer a table

Accounting coworker: Nothing gets me hotter than a pivot table with five attributes.

Washington, DC

Office girl commenting on CEO’s haircut: What happened to her?
Queer coworker: I know! It looks like something they created for Star Wars and then rejected: ‘Ewww, too ugly!’

701 G Street
Washington, DC