Lobbyist: Who’s your favorite consultant?! Who?! Say my name!
K Street
Washington, DC
Lobbyist: Who’s your favorite consultant?! Who?! Say my name!
K Street
Washington, DC
Boss watching Sin City: Dibs on Jessica Alba.
Employee #1: I’ll fight you for her.
Boss: Okay. [They spar for a second, then the boss kicks the employee in the shin and slaps him in the head, dropping him to the floor.]Employee #1: Ow.
Employee #2: Just not smart, dude.
Employee #1: It hurts so bad.
Boss: Respect dibs.
Ft. Walton Beach, Florida
Overheard by: He can have her
Coworker #1: The film was so violent… I don’t really like realistic-looking violence.
Coworker #2: Yeah, neither do I. Although, I did get some perverse enjoyment from watching The Passion of the Christ.
Coworker #1: But in this one it’s all the nice people getting hurt.
500 Harris Street
Ultimo, Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Dan
Coworker: My sister got bit once, and she needed to get a tetanus shot.
Receptionist: What kind of dog was it?
Coworker: No, it was a girl at Taco Bell.
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: What am I doing here
Girl: I don’t care! I am all for police brutality. Seriously! I don’t care!
900 University Avenue
Riverside, California
Overheard by: i live too close to los angeles
Coworker: Any religion involving rams’ blood is fine by me.
Yaletown
Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: DaveM
High school senior #1: That’s an awesome bruise you’ve got there.
High school senior #2: Yeah, I punched a squid. You know that’s how we get ink? We squeeze them.
High school
Arcadia, California
Overheard by: Alleged pre-calc student
Hot intern girl: It sucks that we have to seal all these envelopes today.
Jewish intern guy: Yeah, well, I make it into a game, you see. I pick a number, and if I can’t seal that many envelopes in one minute, a bomb explodes!
Hot intern girl: Wow.
West Loop, Galleria Area
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: In the cube next door
Boss: Thank god for Emily Five!
Coworker: What?
Boss: Thank god for Emily Five!
Coworker: Huh?
Boss: You know — the whole London terror plot thing.
Coworker: You mean, ‘MI5’?
Boss: Whatever… Thank god they were there to make sure we’re safe.
1400 16th Street
NW Washington, DC
Overheard by: Neena
Woman to friend: I’m so going to hit you in the vagina for that!
950 Mission Street
San Francisco, California
