Co-worker #1: Hey, [Eric]. I know what I’ll get you for Christmas.
[Eric]: Oh yeah? What?
Co-worker #1: Some wifebeaters to wear with white shirts so I don’t have to see your boobs through the shirt anymore.
Co-worker #2: All right…I’ve heard enough about [Eric]’s manboobs.
839 Marshall Phelps Road
Windsor, Connecticut
Worker: Dammit! I got a paper cut! Agh!
Boss: Better than getting stabbed with a knife, stapled in the eye, or run over by the UPS truck.
9500 Owensmouth Avenue
Chatsworth, California
Secretary: How’d things go with the Sixth Circuit?
Paralegal: Hold on, let me re-enact it. You be Tuck, I’ll be the judge. Now get me a ballbat and stand still while I beat you with it for thirty minutes straight.
Tuck: Ha…ha…ha.
319 West Woodlawn Avenue
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: Tuck’s Boss who he thinks doesn’t know about this site
Cube dweller to another: I have time to beat you, but I don't have time to stop.
Malden, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Dan
Office girl #1: What’s wrong?
Office girl #2, gagging: I was miming committing suicide by glue stick, and I accidentally inhaled.
N Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: The Temp
Guy #1: She was hurt pretty bad in a car wreck a few years ago. She told me she hurt her knee, her back, and her brain.
Guy #2: Wait… So you have been pursuing a girl that has brain damage?
Guy #1: Hey, her vagina works.
571 South Floyd Street
Louisville, Kentucky
Coworker #2: She just looks that way, it's her default face.
Coworker #1: Well, her default face looks like someone murdered her puppy.
Springfield, Massachusetts
Supervisor: Girl, you better give me back those files or I'll take you outside. Like that girl in that movie.
County Courthouse
Norristown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Lan
Customer service “specialist”: Sir, I was not yelling, I was only raising my voice.
Sunnyvale, California
Coworker, having lunch: Is it bad of me to think of a group of strong guys getting together and jumping Spencer Pratt? I ask because the thought of it really brings a smile to my face.
Melville, New York
