Secretary: How’d things go with the Sixth Circuit?
Paralegal: Hold on, let me re-enact it. You be Tuck, I’ll be the judge. Now get me a ballbat and stand still while I beat you with it for thirty minutes straight.
Tuck: Ha…ha…ha.

319 West Woodlawn Avenue
Louisville, Kentucky

Overheard by: Tuck’s Boss who he thinks doesn’t know about this site

Cube dweller to another: I have time to beat you, but I don't have time to stop.

Malden, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Dan

Office girl #1: What’s wrong?
Office girl #2, gagging: I was miming committing suicide by glue stick, and I accidentally inhaled.

N Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: The Temp

Guy #1: She was hurt pretty bad in a car wreck a few years ago. She told me she hurt her knee, her back, and her brain.
Guy #2: Wait… So you have been pursuing a girl that has brain damage?
Guy #1: Hey, her vagina works.

571 South Floyd Street
Louisville, Kentucky

Coworker #2: She just looks that way, it's her default face.
Coworker #1: Well, her default face looks like someone murdered her puppy.

Springfield, Massachusetts

Supervisor: Girl, you better give me back those files or I'll take you outside. Like that girl in that movie.

County Courthouse
Norristown, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Lan

Customer service “specialist”: Sir, I was not yelling, I was only raising my voice.

Sunnyvale, California

Coworker, having lunch: Is it bad of me to think of a group of strong guys getting together and jumping Spencer Pratt? I ask because the thought of it really brings a smile to my face.

Melville, New York

Engineer: Don’t kill anyone.
Tech Writer: Can I maim them?
Engineer: Yeah. If you maim them you seem like more of a team player.

1550 Buckeye Drive
Milpitas, California

Coworker #1: You ever fucked a girl so hard she bled?
Coworker #2: Nah, but I've seen it.
Coworker #1: You've seen it?!
Coworker #2: Yeah, I walked in on my mate and this girl.
Coworker #1: And you stayed around long enough to see that she was bleeding?!
Coworker #2: Well, it was my turn next.