Boss: What are you still doing here? I told you to go home early.
Employee: I know. Have you ever seen Shawshank Redemption?
Boss: Yes.
Employee: Remember what happened to the prisoner that finally got his freedom? He ended up hanging himself because he didn’t know what to do with his free time.
440 9th Avenue
New York, NY
Cubicle #1: I seriously just saw the churchy lady feel some guy up right now.
Cubicle #2: What?
Cubicle #1: Yeah. he looked horrified too.
Cubicle #2: Huh. What kind of “feeling up” are we talking here?
Cubicle #1: I’ll show you when I go down there.
Cubicle #3: Sounds good.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
[In a crowded computer room]Female: Dude, nobody in here even likes you.
Male: I have made love to everyone in this room!
West San Antonio, Texas
Overheard by: CCRadio
Coworker standing on table: I feel like I'm dead and I'm watching over you.
Orlando, Florida
Director: I feel so bad for Sarah!
Intern: Who?
Director: Sarah, from [xyz] Corp! She got fired!
Intern: Oh, that's terrible.
Director: I feel so bad! And she only has one arm!
New York City, New York
Matthew McConaughey’s mother: I wish you were Woody Harrelson. He always has better pot than you.
Patrick McConaughey: I fucking hate you too, mom. [out the window] Hey babe… don’t you know who I am?
Matthew: You people bring me down.
Backseat of the car I was driving
Austin, Texas
Female suit to vendor on phone: Oh my god, I've been calling you nonstop. I'm like a girl in a white dress at her wedding, and her groom isn't there, and she's been calling him for two hours. That's how I feel.
Union Square
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Julie
Boss, interrupting serious discussion on Risk Management: I’m feeling frisky!
Atlanta, Georgia
Boss, looking at St. Patrick's parade: Oh, look, it's the St. Patrick's parade, I just love Greek food!
Neptune, New Jersey
Overheard by: Karen
Kitchen grunt: You ever poop and suddenly find the world a better place?
Main Street
Greenwood, Indiana
Overheard by: RDC
