Guy in office: Just give me a catheter.

Boston, Massachusetts

Guy #1: [Scratches his chest.]Guy #2: You ok?
Guy #1: Yeah… My chest itches. I shaved it.
Guy #2: You shaved your chest?
Guy #1: Yeah.
Guy #2: Why? That’s not like shaving your balls… You shave your balls, right?
Guy #1: Oh yeah, I shave everything below my belly button.

Mahwah, New Jersey

Barmaid: I know, but it’s funnier as an STD.

Seattle, Washington

Angry suit: It’s like I need to come to every meeting if I want to know what’s actually going on!

Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: At EVERY Meeting

Coworker #1: I just have poop in my heart.
Coworker #2: I hope you have blood in my heart.
Coworker #1: No it's full of necrophilia.
Coworker #2: Your heart is full of "dead love"?
Coworker #1: I mean fecalphilia! Latin is hard!

Durham, NC

Overheard by: tracie

Female worker to manager: This lady said if I didn't stop calling she would report me to the FCC. Federal credit… something.

Portland, Oregon

Programmer returning from extended bathroom break: You know, I don’t want to include too much information, but my pants fit much better now.

1900 Richmond Road
Cleveland, Ohio

Overheard by: The Surly Programmer

Male attorney #1: There's a holiday inn there.
Male attorney #2: We should park across the street.
#1: Why?
#2: Because hotels check license plates. There's a home depot across the street where we can park.
#1: I wonder how nice the suites are?

Mesa, AZ

Female employee (walking over): Hey, *jane? Is that thunder? I'm coming in your personal space.

Marlborough, MA

[In a crowded computer room]Female: Dude, nobody in here even likes you.
Male: I have made love to everyone in this room!

West San Antonio, Texas

Overheard by: CCRadio