Serious coworker: Wait… quinoa has poop in it?

Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: McNasty

Wholesale meat salesman to customer on phone: We've got 12-inch weiners on special.

Fairbank Road
Ashville, New York

Cube girl on phone: And I’m having a really bad day. I just licked an interoffice envelope.

New York, New York

Desk monkey #1: I heard she and her boyfriend had Brazilian waxes done together. The man’s treatment is called the ‘free willy wax.’
Desk monkey #2: Oooh! Can you do that? I mean, you can’t wax a man’s balls!


Overheard by: Ouch!

Customer: It has been freezing on me while I use it. I tried to check for viruses but I don't have those privileges.
Tech support: I checked and it doesn't have any viruses. Is it still freezing now?


Doctor: "cervical cancer gets attention, but there are no runs for anal cancer."


Overheard by: freudian flip

Data manager to minion: Body parts aren’t nearly as uncomfortable as homicide.

New York City, New York

Overheard by: AureateCalyx

Male grunt: If my mouse stops working, I’m going to go home.
Female grunt: Well, did you try jiggling it?
Male grunt: Yeah, I jiggled the shit out of it. [Female grunt giggles.]

Foggy Bottom
Washington, DC

Voice from cubicle #1: Man, it sucks, having to wear a respirator.
Voice from cubicle #2: How am I going to drink coffee through this thing?

San Diego, California

Overheard by: Lifeblack

Boss to tamil guy: Don't worry, eat curry!


Overheard by: Arveen and the Motherfuckers