Frustrated lawyer: Just because your sister is sleeping with someone in the company doesn't mean that you should run a department…

Whipany, New Jersey

Overheard by: Waiting for vacation

Secretary: Did anyone here leave their cell phone in the taxi cab? On the cab driver's caller id, it shows the main number 212-xxx-xxxx. He has been trying to locate the owner of the cell phone.
Boss: What does it look like?
Secretary: He didn't say. He had an accent and called back three different times.

Manhattan, New York

Intern: So do any celebrities subscribe to our magazine?
Circulation guru: Actually, James Caan and Shirley MacLaine are longtime subscribers. Even Dennis Hopper got our mag for awhile.
Intern (sighing): I mean like real celebrities. You know: Tila Tequila or Zac Efron…

Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: ugh.

Office assistant to patient: Well duh, you can tell the difference between a frog leg and a chicken leg… Frog legs don't have bones.
Patient: Uhh… Yeah they do!

Gridley, California

Obese woman on mobility scooter, scowling: Whatever happened to rational soups?

Employee cafeteria
Salisbury, Maryland

Overheard by: minnie stronie

Writer, presenting: I tried to get out of the way and let the thing be the thing, here.

Renton, Washington

Cto, on the subject of 'things the internet is not': "…not grey… doesn't have a trunk… not easily confused with mice… not made of peanut butter…"

Cambridge, MA

Overheard by: Walrus

Frustrated lawyer on phone: I know they are engineers! But I cannot draft a contract using only Venn diagrams, mathematic equations and animé references!

Lamar Overland Park

Overheard by: Needs A Drink

Mother at baby shower, receiving gifts: You know they have forehead thermometers now, so you don't have to do it up the butt.

Washington Navy Yard
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Steve

Peon: Did you see that chick last night? She was so hot. After the meeting, Eric* made a beeline for her.
Co-worker: Oh, yeah? She was hot?
Peon: Well, in the real world she was probably like a 7, but in the lawyer world, she’s like a 12.

West Street
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Julianna