Cube #1: You know what? I wish I was drinking like…some King Cobra right now.
Cube #2: Oh, I know.
Cube #1: Or like a log of chocolate.
Cube #2: Yeah. Chocolate. In the shape of an actual log.
Cube #1: Yeah.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Cube #1: You know what? I wish I was drinking like…some King Cobra right now.
Cube #2: Oh, I know.
Cube #1: Or like a log of chocolate.
Cube #2: Yeah. Chocolate. In the shape of an actual log.
Cube #1: Yeah.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Trader: Happy 75th, old man! We got the pizza for your birthday.
Senior Trader: I would have rather gotten a blowjob.
30 South Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Intern #1: So are you lactose intolerant?
Intern #2: No, I’m not lactose intolerant, it just makes my throat close up.
304 Hudson Street
New York, NY
Consultant #1: Where is [Jeff]?
Consultant #2: He’s not in my cubicle. That leaves the rest of the universe for you to search.
Consultant #1: Is he at lunch?
Consultant #2: If you’re going to start looking, do it now. The universe closes at 5.
250 Broadway
New York, NY
Assistant #1: So you are Jewish, right? That means you have to eat kosher food and not meat?
Assistant #2: Yes, I have to eat Kosher but I can still eat meat. I just choose to be vegetarian.
Assistant #1: That sucks you can’t eat meat. I really love salmon.
69 Bloor Street East
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Co-worker on phone: Let’s take the new Financial Controller from [the client] out to lunch. Is she cute?…Oh, it’s a guy…Does he have a sense of humor?
680 George Street
Sydney, New South Wales
Australia
Worker #1: That’s a great way to start the day. Talkin’ about dog farts and placentas.
Worker #2: Breakfast, anyone?
5885 11th Street
Rockford, Illinois
Co-worker #1: I really want to go get a cookie from the food cube, but [Anne’s] using the computer in there
Co-worker #2: Well, go get one anyway. And tell her to pull her pants
down.
127 Public Square
Cleveland, Ohio
Co-worker #1: Did you know that the egg yolk was never able to be a chicken unless it’s fertilized?
Co-worker #2: Yeah, I mean, like eating this hard-boiled egg is like eating the eggs that you expel during your period.
Co-worker #1: Yeah, like right now I mean, you could get down and just lap it up.
845 United Nations Plaza
New York, NY
Overheard by: Sharon
Employee #1: Wearing the pinstripe today, eh? Real banker-like.
Manager: Yeah, makes me work harder. But you should see me at 4:30. I’ll be wearing jeans and a sweatshirt and working the park.
Employee #1: Pardon?
Manager: I’ll be selling hot chocolate.
Employee #2: Is that your name there or the product you’ll be selling?
3 King Street S
Waterloo, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: SAM BRUNTON-LEWIS
