Worker #1: How much fiber do you think is in a bat?
Worker #2: Not a lot.
Worker #1, surprised: Really?
Worker #2: Well… It’s not like a bat is a vegetable.
Hospital
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Xen
Worker #1: How much fiber do you think is in a bat?
Worker #2: Not a lot.
Worker #1, surprised: Really?
Worker #2: Well… It’s not like a bat is a vegetable.
Hospital
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Xen
Chick #1: Did you know that they’re making Coke kosher for Passover?
Chick #2: [Blank stare.]Chick #1: They’re putting sugar in it.
Chick #2: [Continues to stare.]Chick #1: Normally, it has corn syrup in it.
Chick #2: … Oh! The soda!
200 Varick Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Mardi
Guy: Man, having cigarettes without a lighter is like having peanuts without the jelly!
Lady: Don’t you mean butter?
Guy: Oh, no. I got the butter.
1450 East Parham Road
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: smoking some distance away
Receptionist on phone: Yeah, but at this point I’d really rather have waffles than lesbians.
Office building, Downtown Crossing
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: what?
Saleswoman: Actually, I’m a vegetarian.
Salesman #1: Oh man, I couldn’t do that. That is crazy.
Salesman #2: Yeah, my dream is to eat an entire cow.
Salesman #1: My friend actually bought a second refrigerator so that he could put a cow into it.
Penn Avenue
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Herbie
Lady: They’re going to have fish, chicken, whips, whatever.
440 Park Avenue
New York, New York
Guy: I can’t stand Red Bull. It tastes like old people.
Girl drinking Red Bull: You know what that tastes like?
Lucent Boulevard
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Red Bull Ben
Guest: I want some popcorn shrimp.
Waitress: Do you want a half pound or three-quarter pound?
Guest: I’ll have the half pound. It’s bigger, so we can share.
206 West Franklin Street
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Overheard by: HazyJay
Phone rep #1: What’s that?! A cheeseburger without cheese?!
Phone rep #2: Yeah. It’s called a hamburger.
500 North Central Expressway
Plano, Texas
Overheard by: amused coworker
Frustrated clerk to group of traders: Did you guys have retard sandwiches for lunch or something?
Smart-ass in back: I had a burrito.
Trading Desk
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Walking by…
