50-ish woman #1: I had this fish for lunch, and it was sooo salty!
50-ish woman #2: Was it? Well, it is from the ocean, you know.
50-ish woman #1: No, it was seasoned with too much salt.
50-ish woman #2: It doesn’t even have to be seasoned! It’s from the ocean!
Elevator, 16th Street and JFK Boulevard
New York, New York
Old guy: Small fish and chips.
Italian vendor: The fish aren’t ready — 10 minutes.
Old guy: What? I’m very deaf.
Italian vendor: The fish aren’t ready — 10 minutes!
Old guy: What? I can’t hear you.
Italian vendor: No fish! Have a look here [points to other menu items].
Old guy: I can’t see so well. Just get me a fish and chips.
Italian vendor: No fish!
Old guy: Why are you talking to me?! I can’t hear well! Just get me a fish.
Italian vendor: No fish!
Old guy: Are you stupid? I’m deaf and nearly blind, just get me a fish and chips! God, you’d think you didn’t have any fish!
Edinburgh, Scotland
United Kingdom
Man: Oooh, whatever was on my finger tasted good! I wonder what it was…
Dallas, Texas
Waitress: What can I get for you this evening?
Tourist: My brother here really wants to try some sushi, but he’s never had any.
Brother: I’m afraid I can’t handle the sushi.
Waitress: Oh, honey, no man can handle the sushi.
Sushi Samba
New York, New York
Sophomore: Dude, I really want a taco right now, but it’s early in the morning…
Friend, leaning in: Nah, that depends on what kind of taco you’re talking about. There are different kind of tacos… Heh, heh, you know what I mean?
Sophomore: Dude, shut up!
University of Texas
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: thanks Captain Obvious
Coworker #1: Hey, would anyone like one of my canned Vienna sausages?
Coworker #2: Can you suck the jelly off of it first?
Coast Guard Headquarters
Washington, DC
Asian coworker #1: Bob gave me some egg rolls, you want one?
Asian coworker #2: Was he being nice or racist?
2075 High Hill Road
Bridgeport, New Jersey
Overheard by: I like chinese too
Large coworker: What you do is you split the Krispy Kreme in half and grill it, then put the cheeseburger on it, and I swear, it’s the best way to have it.
Capitol Hill
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Jessica
Lady coworker #1 standing in hospital cafeteria line: Wow. Cod again? Why can’t they have a bigger variety of seafood?
Lady coworker #2: It would be great if they would serve something besides fish, like shrimp or crab.
Lady coworker #1: Shellfish is always best when it’s fresh, though. Whenever I go to the East Coast I always come back with crabs.
2801 W Oklahoma Avenue
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Employee: What are you doing tonight?
Manager: I have to pick up a turkey and then get a CAT scan.
140 River’s Edge Drive
Traverse City, Michigan
