Sensory Experiences

Operations manager: This chart really gets into the details if you're interested.
Assistant director: I don't think we really need to go into all the sausage-making details.
Director: Yeah, I've seen way too much sausage.

Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Worst part? No one else laughed.

Coworker standing on table: I feel like I'm dead and I'm watching over you.

Orlando, Florida

Customer: I need the cold and flu meds that I have to be logged into a data base for.
Pharmacist: Well, can you tell me your symptoms?
Customer: Well, I'm sore and my head… it's like my whole head is just like… like someone sat on my face… but not in a good way.
(pharmacist gives deadpan face and goes to get meds)
Customer: You know, like a big fat person sat on my face… head. Do you take debit?

Mandeville, Louisiana

Overheard by: ShiftSuper2theSTARS

Male office drone: Aaahhhh! The female urinal!


Coworker, smelling vegetarian lunch: Eww! It stinks in here! Is that my burp or Scott's balls?

Fall River, Massachusetts

Admin: You know that guy upstairs? Dan*? He pinched me with a pair of tweezers on that fatty bit you get on your hips and it *really hurt*. So I went back and burned him with a spoon.


Staff member: I love baklava. Have you ever had the vegan baklava? It's so good!
Grad student: I don't think I've had vegan anything.
Staff member: I think it's made from hemp or something. I wonder if it's okay to eat it and then come to work.
Grad student: I don't know.
Staff member, pretending to be high: You'd be like, “Woooah! Heeeey!”
Grad student, joining in: Woooooaaaaahhh!

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: How do these people make it through college?

Cube dweller on phone: Hahaha… yeah, I can just imagine them literally chasing you around, and smearing you with that stuff!


Overheard by: I don't want to get smeared

Guy behind counter, looking at something on the floor: I don't know what it is, but it's gooey…

Cambridge, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Chris Who Isn't Dead

Office drone: I'll have to tickle myself for that…

Ojai, California

Overheard by: IntellectualWhore