Administrative assistant: You know how they choose the pope with those smoke signals?
Staff member: Yeah…
Administrative assistant: It’s kind of like Groundhog’s Day, isn’t it?
Staff member: Wait, what? The movie or the holiday?
Administrative assistant: Duh, the holiday! What would the movie have to do with the pope?
Staff member: Well, what does the holiday have to do with the pope?
Administrative assistant: What?
Willamette Boulevard
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Jenny
Former military guy: Yeah, back when I was enlisted we used to joke that if we ever won the lottery that we would take off all our military owned equipment and walk out the front gate of the base in nothing but our underwear.
Senior admin: Oh my gosh! Wouldn’t that mean you would be considered AOL?
North MacArthur Boulevard
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Mid-level manager #1: I’ve become a running joke.
Mid-level manager #2: Really? I didn’t know you knew that.
Mid-level manager #1: [Long pause] I just caught on.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Cube dweller
Copy chief: I’d rather see hooters than toe fungus any day.
2001 Lind Avenue SW
Renton, Washington
Male administrator: So, are you a prostitute?
Female administrator: Excuse me?
Male administrator: It’s a line from that movie, Monster.
Female administrator: You can’t just go around saying things like that to people.
Male administrator: Oh. Well, I used to do it all the time at my old job.
Female administrator: Is that why you’re not working there anymore?
Connecticut Avenue
Washington, DC
Overheard by: the fly on the wall
Female employee: Are you limping?
Male employee: Yeah, I tore my ass muscle again.
Female admin: Just stop right there, I don’t want to hear anymore.
84 Newbury Street
Peabody, Massachusetts
Admin on phone: I’m sorry, that person has left for the day. We close at 5 PM.
Caller: Well, it’s only a little after 4 here, so does that mean that I, like, have to call you in your time zone?
Admin: Uh, well, yes. Yes, you do…
Mount Desert Island, Maine
Overheard by: snoopervisor
Employee #1: Dave*, you’re what, 27? You’re too young to get married. You need to wait until you’re 35 and then marry a 23 year old. Birthing is just “bam! bam! bam!”– brutal on them. So you need to marry young.
Employee #2: So I need to work here for 8 years and marry a girl who is just graduating from here?
Employee #3: Start looking, man. She’s in high school now.
Employee #2: She’d be what, 15? Hey, Jim*, how old are your daughters?
Employee #1: 13 and 15…Shut up!
3800 Victory Parkway
Cincinnati, Ohio
Admin #1: How old is his son?
Admin #2: Ten.
Admin #1: And how many kids does he have?
Admin #2: Three. They’re triplets.
Admin #1: And they’re all ten?
Route 1 South
Princeton, New Jersey
Overheard by: Emily Anne
Admin #1: There is a 30% chance that it will rain today.
Admin #2: Wow! That means there is a 60% chance that it won’t.
6606 Tussing Road
Reynoldsburg, Ohio
