Admin: You know that guy upstairs? Dan*? He pinched me with a pair of tweezers on that fatty bit you get on your hips and it *really hurt*. So I went back and burned him with a spoon.
Crewe
England
Admin: You know that guy upstairs? Dan*? He pinched me with a pair of tweezers on that fatty bit you get on your hips and it *really hurt*. So I went back and burned him with a spoon.
Crewe
England
Admin: Do you need help with anything?
Engineer: Nobody ever asks that here. What are you up to?
Anchorage, Alaska
Overheard by: Overworked
Coworker: Dude, what’s the best Chinese place for lunch?
Overweight secretary: Ruby Foo’s, just below us!
Coworker: Thanks! (aside) See, the whale’s good for something.
Manhattan, New York
Receptionist: I’m going to Hawaii next week. If I wanted to swim under the entire island, how deep would I have to go?
1600 Utica Avenue
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Male cube rat: Hey, Amanda, you wanna come sing “Endless Love” with me?
Chesapeake, Virginia
Overheard by: Project Manager
Liaison: I need you to look at this with your anal eye.
12447 SW 69th Avenue
Portland, Oregon
Worker #1: Do you know a sabbatical is?
Worker #2: Isn’t that when you don’t have sex?
Worker #3: I think professors take sabbaticals?
Worker #2: Wasn’t Ross on a sabbatical?
Worker #3: I think it’s a break from working.
Worker #2: So I was right. A prostitute on sabbatical wouldn’t have sex.
4725 Peachtree Corners Circle
Norcross, Georgia
Cube rat to another: I just wouldn’t be able to sleep with myself if I did something like that to someone.
Oceanside, California
Female admin assistant to another, about cubicle relocation: I mean, I like it all just fine, but if I had a wiener I wouldn’t get a boner or anything.
Houston, Texas
Secretary to another, talking about movie: I know, I am soooo into antimatter!
Austin, Texas
