Boss: Hello Shannon*, how are you today?
Secretary: Just fine.
Boss: You keepin’ outta trouble?
Secretary: Yes.
Boss: Oh… then you haven’t heard…?
Secretary: What?!
Boss: Nothin’! I’m just messin’ with ya!
1501 Woodfield Road
Schaumburg, Illinois
Overheard by: Pirate Wench
CSR #1: A guy on line 260 needs pricing.
Tech: His name is Pricing?
CSR #2: No, his name is “A guy.”
4123 E La Palma
Anaheim, California
Admin #1: Without extremes, normalcy wouldn’t exist.
Admin #2: Wow, we’re getting heavy now.
Admin #3: Back from tour one day, and you’re already waxing poetic?
Admin #1: Wait, isn’t that what fractals and Jurassic Park are about?
Admin #2 & 3: What?
Admin #1: Extremes, fractals and Jurassic Park. Wasn’t anyone a nerd like me?
Admin #2: Um, no.
3 Lafayette Avenue
Brooklyn, New York
Male bank teller: I’m winning the Mega Millions tonight.
Female bank teller: I’m getting a brace for my leg.
Male teller: Screw that brace. When I win the Mega Millions we’ll get you a new leg! We’ll just cut that one off and I’ll get you a prostate.
725 East Big Beaver Road
Troy, Michigan
Suit: Did you send that acceptance to [Rutter]?
Admin: No. Just the offering.
Suit: I asked you to send the offering and the acceptance.
Admin: I heard you asking me to send the offering, but after that I blanked out.
Suit: Well, let me know when you blank back in.
520 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Greek Goddess
Admin: Some angry guys are going to come in the office looking for one of the executives. They may threaten you and yell at you but just tell them to go away. Whatever you do, don’t bother us with it.
Receptionist: Okay, while I’m up here fighting for my life, I’ll be sure not to bother you all.
817 West Peachtree Street NW
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Elle George
VP:I swear to God, the assistant at [DouglasCo] is so stupid.
Admin: Hey, even stupid people need jobs.
Coworker: Yeah. Some of them even make it to VP.
388 Greenwich Street
New York, NY
Admin on phone: Hi [Jeff], I’ve sent you 4 emails and left you 3 messages. Today is my birthday. What I really want for my birthday, more than anything else, is for you to call me back and answer my questions. Thanks. Bye.
10550 N Torrey Pines Road
La Jolla, California
Operations manager: This chart really gets into the details if you're interested.
Assistant director: I don't think we really need to go into all the sausage-making details.
Director: Yeah, I've seen way too much sausage.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Worst part? No one else laughed.
Admin #1: I would really like to take a solid shit one of these days.
Admin #2: Mud butt?
Admin #1: Total.
Admin #2: Hmmmm.
Admin #2: More fiber is needed.
Admin #1: What has a lot of fiber in it?
Admin #2: I don't know…let me look.
Richfield, Minnesota
