Operations manager: This chart really gets into the details if you're interested.
Assistant director: I don't think we really need to go into all the sausage-making details.
Director: Yeah, I've seen way too much sausage.

Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Worst part? No one else laughed.

Admin #1: I would really like to take a solid shit one of these days.
Admin #2: Mud butt?
Admin #1: Total.
Admin #2: Hmmmm.
Admin #2: More fiber is needed.
Admin #1: What has a lot of fiber in it?
Admin #2: I don't know…let me look.

Richfield, Minnesota

Admin: You know that guy upstairs? Dan*? He pinched me with a pair of tweezers on that fatty bit you get on your hips and it *really hurt*. So I went back and burned him with a spoon.


Admin: Do you need help with anything?
Engineer: Nobody ever asks that here. What are you up to?

Anchorage, Alaska

Overheard by: Overworked

Coworker: Dude, what's the best Chinese place for lunch?
Overweight secretary: Ruby Foo's, just below us!
Coworker: Thanks! (aside) See, the whale's good for something.

Manhattan, New York

Receptionist: I’m going to Hawaii next week. If I wanted to swim under the entire island, how deep would I have to go?

1600 Utica Avenue
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Male cube rat: Hey, Amanda, you wanna come sing “Endless Love” with me?

Chesapeake, Virginia

Overheard by: Project Manager

Liaison: I need you to look at this with your anal eye.

12447 SW 69th Avenue
Portland, Oregon

Worker #1: Do you know a sabbatical is?
Worker #2: Isn’t that when you don’t have sex?
Worker #3: I think professors take sabbaticals?
Worker #2: Wasn’t Ross on a sabbatical?
Worker #3: I think it’s a break from working.
Worker #2: So I was right. A prostitute on sabbatical wouldn’t have sex.

4725 Peachtree Corners Circle
Norcross, Georgia

Cube rat to another: I just wouldn't be able to sleep with myself if I did something like that to someone.

Oceanside, California