Suit #1: Whenever it rains, you come to work wearing plastic pants. Why do you get to wear plastic pants? My boss wouldn’t let me wear plastic pants.
“Suit” #2: If you could do what I can do, you could wear plastic pants, too.
4 Irving Place
New York, New York
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Brit #1: What the fuck is her problem anyway?
Brit #2: She’s doing that thing.
Brit #1: What thing?
Brit #2: That Canadian thing where they pretend to be all nice because they’re from Canada when really, [putting on Canadian accent] they’re just, like, totally backstabbing dipshits, eh?’ I mean what kind of idiots would settle in a place where it hits minus 30, anyway?
V Parku
Prague, Czech Republic
Cube #1: It’s so cloudy out today; is there an Armageddon scheduled that I didn’t know about?
Cube #2: I think it’s supposed to rain.
Cube #1: Well, since you’re closest to the window it’s your responsibility to inform the rest of us if the rain contains a plague of locusts. Tough break, but that’s the responsibility that comes with good cubicle location.
1944 East Sky Harbor Circle
Phoenix, Arizona
CSA #1: So today is the official start of winter. Who cares?
CSA #2: To some people that is important.
CSA #1: Like who, bears?
CSA #2: To some people it’s a winter holiday
CSA #1: Like who, Canadians?
1000 Semmes Avenue
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: Chastain
Manager #1: So, do you have a hurricane there?
Manager #2: There is no hurricane in Atlanta at this time. It’s way over near the Yucatan.
Manager #1: Oh. So will you get any of it?
Manager #2: It’s like a thousand miles away. It’s a little too soon to tell how much it will affect us at this point.
Manager #3: I heard that Wilma is the last name they have on the list.
Manager #1: Ha, ha! What will they do if another one comes? Start over?
Manager #2: They will use Greek letters.
Manager #1: Ha, ha, ha!
Manager #2: That wasn’t a joke.
Manager #1: Oh. Ha, ha! So, the next one will be like Hurricane
“XVII” and then Hurricane “XVIII”? Ha, ha!
Manager #2: No. Those are Roman numerals.
5601 N. Lindero Canyon Road
Westlake Village, California
Guy behind counter on cell: So I’ll be there soon….What’s that sound?….Oh, yeah! I thought I heard a tornado in the background!
Hall’s Archery Range
Manchester, England
Flight attendant, as plane lands: JetBlue airways would like to welcome you to Boston, where the local time is approximately 9:50 and the local temperature is approximately cold.
Logan Airport
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: he was right
Loud man complaining to librarian: Can you turn the heat up or the air conditioning down? It's too cold in here. It might be fine for someone with type o blood, but I'm freezing!
Public Library
La Jolla, California
Postal worker #1: It's supposed to storm…
Postal worker #2: Yes, at six.
Postal worker #1: But not till after six, right?
Postal worker #2: The storm is scheduled for 6:05.
Post Office
Franklin Park, Illinois
Tech guy: Did you hear about all the snow in New York?
Help desk chick: Yeah, wow! That means it’ll be heading here to California.
Tech guy: (silence).
Imperial Highway Brea
California
