Comebacks

Clerk: Why is there a wet floor sign on the carpet?
Supervisor: Sometimes I get excited.
Clerk: I miss working with you. You always know just what to say.

1201 Market Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Jessica Kalup

Editor #1: Should we tell the author we lost that whole section of the manuscript?
Editor #2: No, let’s not announce that we’re incompetent.
Editor #1: Yeah, let’s let it be a surprise.

8700 Shoal Creek Boulevard
Austin, Texas

Manager: The first deadline is April 31st and second deadline is May 31st.
Employee: There’s no 31st in April…So we have just one deadline.

Cyber Gateway building
HITEC City, Hyderabad
India

Help Desk #1: If I’m going down it ain’t gonna be for rocks. It’ll be a bank or something.
Help Desk #2: Or manure.

1900 East 9th Street
Cleveland, Ohio

Boss: Where the fuck is my breakfast? Why hasn’t it been delivered yet? I’m not even hungry anymore, I could have raised my own fucking chicken for the eggs and planted my own fucking orange tree by now.
Worker: You didn’t order anything with eggs.

135 West 36th Street
New York, NY

Office Worker: This file won’t unzip! Unzip, you! Dammit, unzip!
Supervisor: You should try sweet talking it a little bit. Maybe you should buy it dinner first.

105 North Hudson Avenue
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Attorney: Did you spray the air freshener after you used the bathroom?
Secretary: …We’re getting to know each other too well in this office.

319 West Woodlawn Avenue
Louisville, Kentucky

Overheard by: Tuck Tabler

Trader: Happy 75th, old man! We got the pizza for your birthday.
Senior Trader: I would have rather gotten a blowjob.

30 South Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois

CCA: My Excel’s not working.
Manager: I don’t care.
CCA: What should I do if my Excel’s not working and you don’t care?
Manager: Call the Ghostbusters.

2 Charlotte Street
Sackville, New Brunswick
Canadia

Account Manager: I totally disagree with this, with every fiber of my being.
Creative Director: Wow, thats a lot of fiber.

720 East Pete Rose Way
Cincinnati, Ohio