Underling: You’ve got mail!
Financial Analyst: I don’t know that person. All right, I’ll take it.
Underling: There was some white powder in there, but I smelled it; it seemed fine.
Financial Analyst: Well, that’s good. Terrorists don’t use anthrax anymore.
Underling: Just family and friends now, huh? Excellent.
27 Terrace Drive
Vernon, Connecticut
Owner #1: We need to get the freezer fixed.
Owner #2: Well, we can call [ColdCo].
Owner #1: [ColdCo] raped us last time!
Owner #2: True. But this way at least we know our rapist.
201 North 78th Street
Omaha, Nebraska
HR #1: She said she’s going to be on it for life! What kind of doctor gives you Valium for life?
Accountant: A good one!
HR #1: And what doctor would mix Valium, Vicodin, and Demerol?
HR #2: What’s this doctor’s name, again?
1776 Main Street
Springfield, Massachusetts
Overheard by: ribbon
Co-worker #1: Why do they only lock the girls’ bathroom and not the guys’?
Co-worker #2: So you don’t come in and rape us.
Co-worker #1: Yeah, that’s true.
475 Park Avenue South
New York, NY
Co-worker #1: Are you dipping in the company ink?
Co-worker #2: Nope, the ink was red.
4221 74 Avenue NW
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
Engineer: Man, I can’t write code today. Someone must have stole my
talent.
Manager: That would be petty theft.
8000 West Sunrise Boulevard
Plantation, Florida
Employee #1 is fixing his hair in the bathroom mirror.
Employee #2: You look handsome today.
The toilet flushes and out comes the firm’s president.
President: Do you two want to be alone?
352 Chestnut Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Worker #1: Did you pass the bar?
Worker #2: Yeah, the salad bar.
Consultant: I don’t eat salad.
Worker #2: That’s why you passed it.
100 Summer Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Vice Principal: Hey there, did you get my email?
Teacher: No, I didn’t…
Vice Principal: Wow, and I sent it to both [Ed Hildick]s so you’d be sure to get it.
Teacher: Yeah…but my name is [Jeff].
901 Locust Street
Herndon, Virginia
Sales engineer: Hey, you can’t use that, that’s a sales punch!
Accountant: Care to see a finance punch?
59 Marsh Lane
Solihull, West Midlands
UK
