Comebacks

Receptionist: What are the new shirts made out?
Clerk: They’re 100% cotton.
Receptionist: Cotton? That’s the stuff that grows on sheep, right?
Clerk: No, cotton comes from rabbits. That’s why they’re called cottontails.

10 Miles South of Battle Mountain
Battle Mountain, Nevada

Co-worker #1: Didn’t you wear that shirt two days ago?
Co-worker #2: Huh? What? I don’t know…
Co-worker #1: Yeah, I remember you had that sweater on a couple of days back.
Co-worker #2: Did you look that up on www.victoriaknowswhateveryonewears.com? Oh wait, it kicks back to another site, www.gofuckyourselfvictoria.com.

460 West 34th Street
New York, NY

Co-worker #1: I’m so busy today.
Co-worker #2: Why? Thursday is the new Friday.

521 5th Avenue
New York, NY

CSR: That guy was such a moron! And he kept trying to tell me he had a
photographic memory. I thought to myself, “Yeah, well you must be out of film.”

7350 Tilghman Street
Allentown, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: jara

Worker #1: How do you spell “vulnerable”? V-u-n-e-r-a-b-l-e?
Worker #2: No, it has an “l” in it. V-u-l…
Worker #1: Pfff, no. It’s v-u-n-e-r-a-b-l-e.
Worker #2: It has an “l” in it. V-u-l-n-e-r-a-b-l-e.

Worker #1 gets the dictionary and struggles to find it under v-u-n.

Worker #1: Oh…How peculiar! Hang on.
Worker #2: V-u-l-n-e-r-a-b-l-e. Would you like me to give you the Latin root and related words? Vulnerare…vulnus…
Worker #1: Well, I never! It has an “l” in it! Well, well. You don’t pronounce it like that, though. What’s the “l” for?
Worker #2: …It’s for making it a real word.

200 Green Lanes
Palmers Green, London
UK

Overheard by: Peachey

Front Desk: What does code 99499 mean?
Coder: “You’re a dirty whore.”
Front Desk: They have codes for that?

675 North St. Clair Street
Chicago, Illinois

Manager: Good morning ladies. What are you whispering about?
Secretary #1 & #2: You.

11909 Spencer Road
Houston, Texas

Co-worker #1: You should get that fan fixed. It’s really loud.
Co-worker #2: I don’t mind it.
Co-worker #1: It’s really loud.
Co-worker #2: I don’t mind. I just pretend I’m working in my private jet at 30,000 feet. It’s noisy for a computer fan but it’s really quiet for a jet.

2137 Highway 35
Holmdel, New Jersey

Overheard by: Chuck Roast

Worker: So the Christmas party is mandatory?
Boss: Of course not, but if you don’t show you’ll probably be ostracized.
Worker: …And I have to sign a waiver to drink?
Boss: Do you think a company of lawyers would let everyone drink, then drive, and not cover their asses?

962 Coronado Boulevard
Universal City, Texas

VP: There is only so much you can do with one hand.
Co-worker: I’m not going to touch that.

910 Lousiana Street
Houston, Texas