Comebacks

Analyst #1: I hate going into that lunchroom when the people from claims are in there having a potluck.
Analyst #2: I know, it’s like the bar scene in Star Wars.

4645 East Cotton Center Bouelvard
Phoenix, Arizona

Suit #1: Over on 49th, there’s a truck parked with a bunch of girls dancing in bikinis. It’s to promote Cancun.
Suit #2: For you it’s to promote a heart attack.

383 Madison Avenue
New York, NY

Peon: Well, you know as they say, “Necessity is the mother of all invention.”
Boss: That’s cool, did you just make that up?

800 E. 28th Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: jearu

Editor #1: Did you check these names religiously?
Editor #2: Yeah, he’s praying they’re all right.

2 Holt Steet
Surry Hills, New South Wales
Australia

Co-worker #1: It happened at 9:30 this morning…Between 9 and 10.
Co-worker #2: Is that when 9:30 is?

1633 Broadway
New York, NY

Overheard by: The Muskrat Jones

Nurse: How did I know this elevator was going down?
Man: I don’t know; my guess would be the down arrow above the
door, though…

Davis Avenue at East Post Road
White Plains, New York

Underling: You’ve got mail!
Financial Analyst: I don’t know that person. All right, I’ll take it.
Underling: There was some white powder in there, but I smelled it; it seemed fine.
Financial Analyst: Well, that’s good. Terrorists don’t use anthrax anymore.
Underling: Just family and friends now, huh? Excellent.

27 Terrace Drive
Vernon, Connecticut

Owner #1: We need to get the freezer fixed.
Owner #2: Well, we can call [ColdCo].
Owner #1: [ColdCo] raped us last time!
Owner #2: True. But this way at least we know our rapist.

201 North 78th Street
Omaha, Nebraska

HR #1: She said she’s going to be on it for life! What kind of doctor gives you Valium for life?
Accountant: A good one!
HR #1: And what doctor would mix Valium, Vicodin, and Demerol?
HR #2: What’s this doctor’s name, again?

1776 Main Street
Springfield, Massachusetts

Overheard by: ribbon

Co-worker #1: Why do they only lock the girls’ bathroom and not the guys’?
Co-worker #2: So you don’t come in and rape us.
Co-worker #1: Yeah, that’s true.

475 Park Avenue South
New York, NY