Worker: Someone left puke in the toilet. I swear, bulimia should be illegal.
1000 SW Broadway
Portland, Oregon
Worker: Someone left puke in the toilet. I swear, bulimia should be illegal.
1000 SW Broadway
Portland, Oregon
District Supervisor: Wait, maybe I misunderstood him, but was he saying “Bachelor’s Degree”?
Regional Manager: Actually, the words he used were “Bastard’s Degree.”
District Supervisor: Ha, ha! I thought so but I didn’t think he could be that ignorant.
Regional Manager: Well, he is a retarded ex-con with personality disorders.
District Supervisor: Yeah, you’re right.
3651 Cedarcrest Avenue
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Overheard by: Joshua Carpenter
Underling: You’ve got mail!
Financial Analyst: I don’t know that person. All right, I’ll take it.
Underling: There was some white powder in there, but I smelled it; it seemed fine.
Financial Analyst: Well, that’s good. Terrorists don’t use anthrax anymore.
Underling: Just family and friends now, huh? Excellent.
27 Terrace Drive
Vernon, Connecticut
Co-worker #1: Why do they only lock the girls’ bathroom and not the guys’?
Co-worker #2: So you don’t come in and rape us.
Co-worker #1: Yeah, that’s true.
475 Park Avenue South
New York, NY
Engineer: Man, I can’t write code today. Someone must have stole my
talent.
Manager: That would be petty theft.
8000 West Sunrise Boulevard
Plantation, Florida
Boss: Your brother is Wiccan?
Drone: Yes.
Boss: So he does magic?
Drone: He likes to think so.
Boss: And he’s not Christian?
Drone: …No.
Boss: So he can do whatever he wants? Like kill someone?
Drone: …No, he still has to abide by the laws of the land.
557 Church Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Office girl: Why don’t we recycle here?
Office guy: Because we’re fucking trying to eliminate winter!
740 Dundas Street E
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
IT guy #1: I will kill you with my soup cup?
IT guy #2: Okay.
Dodge St
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Northern Lad
Female employee, pointing at computer screen: I say we take this guy to court!
Male employee: There's nobody there, Megan*.
Newton, Massachusetts
Guy coworker: So I know after they've wiped out the rest of my truck, these thieves are thinking, “We can even steal these $3 sunglasses and pawn them for at least a portion of a rock!”
Girl coworker: Rocks are free, dumbass!
Lewisville, Texas
Overheard by: entertained by others' ignorance
