Crimes

E-marketing project manager to group of account services team members: They still took your money. They took your money and they rolled around in it with their balls out.

Technology Park
Lake Mary, Florida

Overheard by: Design Goddess

Assistant: Are you stealing things already?
Marketing rep: Are you saying that because I’m black?

9401 West Brown Deer Road
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Overheard by: T

Boy #1: Man, why'd you kill me?
Boy #2: No, I didn't kill you, he killed you!

Public Library
Key West, Florida

Overheard by: Chey

Amtrak conductor #1: There's no quiet car on this train, folks.
Amtrak conductor #2: That's right. This is the party train. We gonna get arrested tonight.

South Station
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: enigmattic

Chubby secretary: So, my friend from college was roommates with this guy who went to high school with this girl whose brother was eaten by Jeffrey Dahmer!
Friend: Oh my god! You could have been killed!

Tampa, Florida

Manager, about co-worker's brother: He really should've started with the mafia at a younger age.

Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts

Attorney: My head hurts, my mouth tastes like crap, I haven’t shaved in four days and my suit is wrinkled. I think I’m hung over.
Secretary: Well, what do you have to do today?
Attorney: DUI hearing to try and get [Leonard] off the hook.

319 West Woodlawn Avenue
Louisville, Kentucky

Lawyer to client: I have a concealed handgun license. I used to carry my gun with me all the time, but then I found out it's illegal to carry a weapon and be intoxicated.

Guadalupe Street
Austin, Texas

Manager on phone: She’ll only be filing and sorting so as long as she doesn’t come in drunk and screw up the files, I don’t really care about the DUI.

2250 Alcazar Street
Los Angeles, California

Desktop support tech to cubicle farm of other desktop support techs: I have heard of cases of women raping men, but I do wonder at the logistics of it.

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Desktop Support Tech