Money

Two real estate agents are returning from lunch.

Experienced agent: You’re never going to make any money if you keep getting drunk like this.

73 West 19th Street
New York, New York

Portfolio Manager: She’s pissed that I didn’t sell the stock before it
went down.
Trader: Don’t you know that you are supposed to know when that’s gonna
happen?
Portfolio Manager: I guess not…

1900 East Ninth Street
Cleveland, Ohio

Manager: You all need to help out and pull a shift in the Concierge Department. This is what team work is all about. I make too much money to help in the Concierge Department.

47 East Beaver Creek Boulevard
Avon, Colorado

Colleague: You can’t pay to stuff that. I mean, that’s a handjob at best.

1150 City View Street
Eugene, Oregon

Employee #1: I don’t know what to write.
Employee #2: How about, “I’m surprised you cheap skanks chipped in ten bucks a piece”?
Employee #1: …I was thinking more, “I am sure I will get a lot of use out of this.”

327 West Michigan Avenue
Kalamazoo, Michigan

Assistant on phone: One time I was in Oklahoma and I don’t know if they do this anymore but they had a prisoner rodeo! They would release bulls into a pen and the prisoners had to get $100 bills stuck in the fences. Some would die but it was cool!…I mean, not that I would go again or anything.

900 North Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois

Project Engineer: If you expect me to do quality work I’m going to need a raise.

10 West Mifflin Street
Madison, Wisconsin

Junior Boss: I once crashed a car into a tree for the insurance money.

31401 Via Della Pace
Vicenza
Italy

Overheard by: Lorelie Long

Specialist: He thought it was “unfair” that we’d charge him a fee for cashing out his certificate before the maturity date.
Boss: He’s lucky he was talking to you. I’d have told him, “I had to put my cat to sleep last night; that’s unfair.”

2929 North Mayfair Road
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Sales: You quoted 3 different prices to this customer.
CEO: You’re not calling me an idiot, are you?
Sales: I’m saying that having been given all the facts you made 3 incompatable decisions.
CEO: That’s sufficiently blameless.

12819 Coit Road
Cleveland, Ohio