Money

Project Engineer: If you expect me to do quality work I’m going to need a raise.

10 West Mifflin Street
Madison, Wisconsin

Junior Boss: I once crashed a car into a tree for the insurance money.

31401 Via Della Pace
Vicenza
Italy

Overheard by: Lorelie Long

Specialist: He thought it was “unfair” that we’d charge him a fee for cashing out his certificate before the maturity date.
Boss: He’s lucky he was talking to you. I’d have told him, “I had to put my cat to sleep last night; that’s unfair.”

2929 North Mayfair Road
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Sales: You quoted 3 different prices to this customer.
CEO: You’re not calling me an idiot, are you?
Sales: I’m saying that having been given all the facts you made 3 incompatable decisions.
CEO: That’s sufficiently blameless.

12819 Coit Road
Cleveland, Ohio

HR #1: Why would anyone agree to take on more responsibility if we’re not going to pay them more?
HR #2: We’re giving them more projects to work on that will be more advanced than what they’re working on right now. I think people look for a challenge and they will be willing to take on more responsibility if it promises to be rewarding. Besides, most of them are in their twenties and need to start somewhere. So you see, we really are paying them more…in experience.
HR #1: Who is ever going to fall for that?

150 Garden Street
Santa Barbara, California

Overheard by: Snoop E.

Nurse #1: But don’t be swayed by the money.
Nurse #2: I’m not swayed by the money. I like being poor.

157 East 86th Street
New York, NY

Overheard by: Kira

Boss: Make sure you wear something nice like that skirt you had on last weekend.
DJ: But what if it’s cold outside this weekend?
Boss: Doesn’t matter…the Army guys will pull more recruits if you broadcast in something a little revealing. Plus they paid a lot of money for this remote.

1711 Ellis Drive
Valdosta, Georgia

Overheard by: Todd McClure

Employee #1: Do you know how much these master cylinder gland nuts cost?
Employee #2: What,we are selling the gland nuts by themselves now? They are usually attached to the master cylinder…
Employee #3: I’d say gland nuts attachd to the master cylinder are priceless.

13601 FM 529
Houston, Texas

Copywriter: I was accosted by a woman with a French accent at the mall at lunch today.
Art Director: Really? How odd.
Copywriter: Yeah, she buffed my nails and I purchased her product. Only now am I remembering the accent as being fake.
Art Director: I had a run in with the cops over lunch.

930 South Calhoun Street
Fort Wayne, Indiana

Manager #1: I don’t feel like working today.
Manager #2: So why don’t you go home?
Manager #1: ‘Cause I don’t get paid to do nothing at home….

3200 S. Las Vegas Boulevard
Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Cathie