Money

Coworker: So she was telling me she had no money to pay her bill because she invested all her money into a llama farm, and then the llamas got slaughtered.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: WD40

Customer: I need to get a dozen and a half, mixed.
Clerk, counting on her day-glo orange fingernails: It’d be cheaper if you got 18.
Customer: What’s the difference?
Clerk: ten cents.
Smirking customer: Ok, I’ll take 18.

Dunkin’ Donuts
Columbia, South Carolina

Overheard by: are u kidding me?

Girl at desk: My friend told me about how they paid two grand to freeze the stem cells from her son’s umbilical cord so it could save his life or something later.
Guy at desk: Why don’t they just have him drink the fluid out of the umbilical cord?
Male coworker: Orrr they could just put the stuff in the freezer.

3111 S. Range Line Road
Joplin, Missouri

Bridezilla-to-be on cell in lounge: … Yeah, but, like, his family is just so different than ours, Mom! They’re lower class and aren’t used to spending a lot of money on stuff like that!

Insurance company
Grand Rapids, Michigan

E-marketing project manager to group of account services team members: They still took your money. They took your money and they rolled around in it with their balls out.

Technology Park
Lake Mary, Florida

Overheard by: Design Goddess

Worker #1: I ordered the print from that guy. I’m his first international sale: he’s in Canada.
Worker #2: Canada cracks me up.

1700 Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: stephanie

Random stranger: Is that the ATM from upstairs?
Worker, hauling ATM down hallway: Yep.
Random stranger: So now I can't get money upstairs?
Worker: Oh, no. The money's still there in a pile. Just take what you need.

Bethesda, Maryland

Coworker, on accepting payment: Sir, I can take it one of two ways, but I do need it badly today.

New Jersey

Manager: I can't take any time off between jobs, with what my wife spends. I have to jump on the next job before she empties out our bank account.

Raritan, New Jersey

Worker: Yup, it takes a lot more than a million dollars to be a millionaire these days.

Hermiston, Oregon