Software developer to web designer: Our toilets don’t flush, so we don’t need cable television anymore. This is not a metaphor.
5th Avenue
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: Logic Impaired
Software developer to web designer: Our toilets don’t flush, so we don’t need cable television anymore. This is not a metaphor.
5th Avenue
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: Logic Impaired
Female worker: I’m serious, I don’t like to put things in my mouth that might squirt out! I mean–
Stunned coworker, interrupting: –No, you’ve probably said enough.
Female worker: I’m talking about the doughnut.
121 Zeeb Road
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Customer on phone: The plug won’t fit!
IA rep: It’s okay, sir. I just need to confirm that the first device plugged into our router is either a firewall or a computer.
Customer on phone: They… They just won’t connect!
IA rep: We’re looking for an Ethernet line. Is there an Ethernet line coming out of the router? Make sure not to plug or unplug anything. It will take down your voice, too.
Customer on phone: It’s some telephone thingy… Oh, wait! This cord might work– [click].
IA rep: We got another one.
4800 Concentric Boulevard
Saginaw, Michigan
Employee, about jury duty: I figure if they’re in court, they’re guilty of something, or why would they be there?
323 East Grand River Avenue
Howell, Michigan
Overheard by: Dunder Mifflin
Boss: Your code no longer doesn’t not fail.
Howell, Michigan
Overheard by: Eric
Secretary: I’ve got a bad rash in between my boobs.
Coworker: Uh…
Secretary: See, it’s really bad.
Coworker: Uh… [tries to look away but is too slow].
Secretary, smelling her fingers: It smells real bad, too.
Liberty and Division Street
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: Violated
Employee #1: So, should I make the hotel arrangements, or should you? Or should I, or what should we do?
Employee #2: Oh, I don’t know… Maybe if I do it… Or you could do it, that would be fine.
Michigan
Stall #1: … And so last week I told him the next time he wants a booty call, don’t call me!
Stall #2: So, like, did he call you again?
Stall #1: Yeah, and I went over there last night. He’s such a jerk!
Office
Rochester, Michigan
Overheard by: pee quiet
Coworker: My sister got bit once, and she needed to get a tetanus shot.
Receptionist: What kind of dog was it?
Coworker: No, it was a girl at Taco Bell.
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: What am I doing here
Straight guy #1: Are we actually watching the Ellen DeGeneres Show?
Straight guy #2: It’s just on.
Straight guy #3: I think she’s hot.
Straight guy #2: Ellen DeGeneres is hot?
Straight guy #3: Yeah.
Straight guy #2: I saw her in real life once.
Straight guy #3: Yeah, where?
Straight guy #2: I was in a lesbian disco in West Hollywood.
Straight guy #3: Wait, she’s gay?
Straight guy #2: Ellen? Are you kidding?
Straight guy #3: Oh, I thought we were talking about Rachael Ray.
1260 Library Street
Detroit, Michigan
Overheard by: little*bit
