Cube dweller: Hey Liz*, wanna hear something crazy?
Liz*: Sure.
Cube dweller: That stock I bought is up 900% today.
Liz*: Which stock?
Cube dweller: That gay stock I bought! 900%!
Liz*: Gay stock…?
Cube dweller: Yeah–that gay tv network stock. I knew it! Gay tv, yes!
Liz*: Well, good for you…
Cube dweller: Man, my butt is so sore today…

Warren, Michigan

Overheard by: Your what is sore?!

Spikey-haired waiter: I'll be right back with your check.
Cranky old man: I hope all his hair falls out!
Wife: Calm down!
Cranky old man: It's a fad!
(spikey-haired waiter brings check)
Cranky old man: Oh! Mints!

Kalamazoo, Michigan

Coworker #1: Our annual report is going to be delivered today. Please let me know when it arrives.
Coworker #2: How often do we get that?

University of Michigan, Ann Arbor

IT #1: She’s a nut.
IT #2: Most people are.
IT #1: What kinda nut do you think we are?
IT #2: Cashews because we’re unique and expensive.
IT #1: I guess we could be macadamians.
IT #2: Those are fatty.

30830 Northwestern Highway
Farmington Hills, Michigan

Employee #1 to employee #2: Hey, what's that called when they take your money out and you have no control?
Employee #2: Fucked?
Employee #3: Garnish, you assholes!

Wyandotte, Michigan

Overheard by: Tom

Angry With Me You Are?

Female coworker to male coworker: You're not even using your force. You just wanted me to feel good.

Grand Rapids, Michigan

Overheard by: Alicia

Blonde mom returning to the workforce: Can you help me send a fax?
Office coworker: Sure, what do you need help with?
Mom: Well, I need to send out this fax, but I also need to keep a copy of it, how do I do that?

Northwestern Highway
Southfield, Michigan

Deskie #1: What’s that smell? Sulfur? Rotten eggs?
Deskie #2: I have it figured out: It’s Halloween, and all these girls are walking around with nothing covering areas which haven’t been exposed in public since last Halloween.
Deskie #1: I don’t get why that is relevant.

Front desk, Central Michigan University
Mount Pleasant, Michigan

Overheard by: Not A Deskie

Secretary: You can’t do that!
VP: I’m like Bush. I answer to God.
Secretary: You answer to me!
VP: Isn’t that what I just said?

10559 Citation Drive
Brighton, Michigan

Overheard by: Abigail Fisher

Bridezilla-to-be on cell in lounge: … Yeah, but, like, his family is just so different than ours, Mom! They’re lower class and aren’t used to spending a lot of money on stuff like that!

Insurance company
Grand Rapids, Michigan