Student: Can you back up my papers and stuff?
Technician: Sure, how much is there?
Student: About four gigabytes…it’s mostly porn but there are some papers mixed in there somewhere.
16 Petrarca Drive
Kent, Ohio
Student: Can you back up my papers and stuff?
Technician: Sure, how much is there?
Student: About four gigabytes…it’s mostly porn but there are some papers mixed in there somewhere.
16 Petrarca Drive
Kent, Ohio
Developer #1: Ooh, a SOAP exception.
Developer #2: “SOAP exception, unable to shower.”
1601 Chestnut Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
IT #1: Okay, I’ll set up one of my extra workstations and get a wireless card for it.
IT #2: Can you get a card easily?
IT #1: Oh sure, they’re only about 50 bucks. I can get petty cash.
Manager: So we have to go through you. Why can’t [Claude] get it?
IT #2: Because I have to go through too many layers of management and red tape.
Manager: For an old computer and a $50 card?
IT #1: Yeah, this place is like a prison. It’s all about who can trade cigarettes for a sharp shiv.
Manager: Or who’s around when you drop the soap…
525 Rudder Road
Fenton, Missouri
Developer #1: It’s obvious the code will work. You’ve coded, you can see it will work. You can see it will work, unless you’re stupid.
Developer #2: You’re not stupid, are you?
501 Marquette Avenue
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: fmm
IT: Okay, try it now.
The problem solved, it works.
Call Center: Wait, wait, wait. Don’t start jerking each other off just yet…We still have to test one other thing.
101 Empty Saddle Trail
Hailey, Idaho
IT person: “New Jersey”? New Jersey is a state? I thought it was part of New York.
Grand Pavilion
Cayman Islands
Computer Technician: Wow, it’s amazing what kind of difference a couple of inches can make…Have you seen [Ben]’s?
The other technicians burst out laughing.
Computer Technican: I meant his new 19″ monitor. Grow up.
1035 64th Avenue SE
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Programmer returning from extended bathroom break: You know, I don’t want to include too much information, but my pants fit much better now.
1900 Richmond Road
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: The Surly Programmer
Female program manager: You got a sec?
Male program manager: I have lots of secs.
(pause)
Engineer: He means he has a lot of time.
Utah
Overheard by: Snickering Intern
IT guy #1: I will kill you with my soup cup?
IT guy #2: Okay.
Dodge St
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Northern Lad
