North Carolina

What’s Sweeter Than Getting Paid Not to Work?

Early bird #1: Our system is down.
Early bird #2: Crap. Well, that’s okay. I really didn’t feel like doing anything today, anyway.
Early bird #1: I guess maybe around eight someone in corporate will come in and get us rollin’.
Early bird #2: I don’t think they get in until 8:45.
Early bird #1: I guess we just hang out, then!
Early bird #2, going to cubicle: Actually, it’s Friday, so we probably won’t hear anything from corporate until after nine… At least we have the Internet! Wait! Oh my god, do we have the Internet?!
Early bird #1: Yup, already checked. Internet is up!
Early bird #2: We’re good, then.

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

Right Near Where They Have the Running of the Frogs?

New art director: This product line is called Madrid, right?
Creative director: Yes.
New art director: So why do you want me to look for images of the south of France?
Creative director: Isn’t Madrid on the coast of France?

325 Model Farm Road
High Point, North Carolina

Overheard by: I could find that on a map

Oh! That’s Much Worse

Female coworker: Paul*, did you stick your finger in the machine last night?

Macon Avenue
Asheville, North Carolina

Review: Lacks Intuition

Tech #1: Phew! I just spent hours grabbing screenshots to show the manager what I’ve been doing.
Tech #2: Umm… You know he’s blind, right?
Tech #1: So… I should send a note instead?

Charlotte, North Carolina

Overheard by: Not involved – really!

It’s Clogged! Get the Plunger!

Tech #1: Have you read the email from the project managers?
Tech #2: Yes, I have. Would you like to create the reply?
Tech #1: Are you asking me to flush out the stupid?

Research Triangle Park, North Carolina

US Falls to Last Place in Math Internationally

Guest: I want some popcorn shrimp.
Waitress: Do you want a half pound or three-quarter pound?
Guest: I’ll have the half pound. It’s bigger, so we can share.

206 West Franklin Street
Chapel Hill, North Carolina

Overheard by: HazyJay

Because I’m Not Doing That Until after We’re Married

Girl: Is this gonna be one of those phone conversations where you talk to yourself for 10 minutes and I just kinda listen?

Student Union, East Carolina University
Greenville, North Carolina

Why There Are So Many Therapists

Child in stall: Mommy, where does that hole go?
Mother: It’s not a hole, it’s a pipe, and it goes to where the child-catcher lives. Now hurry up!

601 West Peace Street
Raleigh, North Carolina

The Alien Abductions Have Had a Permanent Effect on Chuck

Sales guy on phone: An inch and a half between the legs? … Yeah, that sounds pretty big for that size rod. … Are you standing it up like a horseshoe and measuring it? … Okay, let me get you some prices and call back.

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

Overheard by: It’s a fastener thing.. you wouldn’t understand

Everyone, This Is Amber

Manager to room of trainees for upcoming audit: Today’s training has been cancelled, because I have something better to do.

Research Triangle Park, North Carolina

Overheard by: Elementary Geek

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