Tech People

IT #1: Okay, I’ll set up one of my extra workstations and get a wireless card for it.
IT #2: Can you get a card easily?
IT #1: Oh sure, they’re only about 50 bucks. I can get petty cash.
Manager: So we have to go through you. Why can’t [Claude] get it?
IT #2: Because I have to go through too many layers of management and red tape.
Manager: For an old computer and a $50 card?
IT #1: Yeah, this place is like a prison. It’s all about who can trade cigarettes for a sharp shiv.
Manager: Or who’s around when you drop the soap…

525 Rudder Road
Fenton, Missouri

Developer #1: It’s obvious the code will work. You’ve coded, you can see it will work. You can see it will work, unless you’re stupid.
Developer #2: You’re not stupid, are you?

501 Marquette Avenue
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: fmm

IT: Okay, try it now.

The problem solved, it works.

Call Center: Wait, wait, wait. Don’t start jerking each other off just yet…We still have to test one other thing.

101 Empty Saddle Trail
Hailey, Idaho

IT person: “New Jersey”? New Jersey is a state? I thought it was part of New York.

Grand Pavilion
Cayman Islands

Computer Technician: Wow, it’s amazing what kind of difference a couple of inches can make…Have you seen [Ben]’s?

The other technicians burst out laughing.

Computer Technican: I meant his new 19″ monitor. Grow up.

1035 64th Avenue SE
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia

Programmer returning from extended bathroom break: You know, I don’t want to include too much information, but my pants fit much better now.

1900 Richmond Road
Cleveland, Ohio

Overheard by: The Surly Programmer

Female program manager: You got a sec?
Male program manager: I have lots of secs.
(pause)
Engineer: He means he has a lot of time.

Utah

Overheard by: Snickering Intern

IT guy #1: I will kill you with my soup cup?
IT guy #2: Okay.

Dodge St
Omaha, Nebraska

Overheard by: Northern Lad

Tech #1: Can I have the key to the IDF closet?
Tech #2: I don’t have it, it’s in the lockbox.
Tech #1: Well then, can I have the key to the lockbox?
Tech #2: It’s not locked.

20800 Harvard Road
Cleveland, Ohio

Tech #1: I’m starving. I should live off of my excess fat, like a doughboy.
Tech #2: I’ve never seen the Pillsbury Doughboy eat. He’s always right by food but never takes any.
Tech #1: Exactly… Hey, do you think if he ate a biscuit he would get the doughboy version of mad cow?

109 T.W. Alexander Drive
Durham, North Carolina