Boss to assistant wearing turquoise earrings: Oh, wow, it's like cinco de mayo!

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: What do you even say to that

Coworker #1: Is Corey supervising tonight?
Coworker #2: No. Look. See, he doesn't have pants on.

Trenton, New Jersey

Overheard by: He Does Have Nice Legs.

Programmer returning from extended bathroom break: You know, I don’t want to include too much information, but my pants fit much better now.

1900 Richmond Road
Cleveland, Ohio

Overheard by: The Surly Programmer

Salesperson to another: Wow! I like your new pants? (pause) Do they fit you?

Plattsburgh, New York

Male in next cubicle, about a scar: I have one, but it's under my pants.
Female work bee: Well, let me see it. (pause) Wow, that's huge!
Male: I know, I've had it since I was little.

El Paso, Texas

Overheard by: Daniel

Secular Muslim salesgirl #1: What do you think of what I am wearing?
Secular Muslim salesgirl #2: I'm glad you asked, it's bizarre. Why are you wearing such a short skirt? It's winter! And is that shirt actually lingerie? And why are you wearing a veil? Especially with all this? I've never seen you wear a veil!
Secular Muslim salesgirl #1: My grandmother put glue in my shampoo bottle to try to force me to cover my hair and dress more conservatively. I didn't have time to fix it. I had to wear a veil. And the rest… well, I couldn't let her win.

Clothing Store
Bosnia and Herzegovina

Geek: I hate to break it to you, but surfers don’t wear coats.

William Street
New York City, New York

Overheard by: Misanthropic Scott

Boss: Six months ago I was in pajamas with a bong!

W 1st Street
Los Angeles, California

Young attorney #1: I look like an old woman in this coat.
Young attorney #2: Maybe a slutty old woman.
Young attorney #1: I wish I was a slutty old woman.

Norristown, Pennsylvania

Woman on phone with client: Let me put this to you another way: you pay for four hours with a whore. You buy her a catsuit. At the end of that time, you don't own the whore. You may still retain the catsuit but what good will that do you, since you're a 45-year-old balding fat guy? You might as well leave the catsuit with the whore.

Defense Contractor
Andover, Massachusetts