Receptionist on door intercom: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Okay [hangs up]. Bob*, a guy from RICO is here to service you.
Hangar Place
Allentown, Pennsylvania
Receptionist on door intercom: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Okay [hangs up]. Bob*, a guy from RICO is here to service you.
Hangar Place
Allentown, Pennsylvania
Wifey on phone: Why didn’t you answer your cell phone?
Office peon: I can’t answer my cell phone! It’s in the ceiling!
Wifey: What do you mean, ‘it’s in the ceiling’?
Office peon: Exactly what you fucking think I mean! It’s in the fucking ceiling!
5900 Howard Street
Skokie, Illinois
Overheard by: Electrical Estimator
Boss on phone: Yeah, I’ll bring the bottle of wine tomorrow… No, the plan is you make fun of my gout and then tease me with the bottle… Okay, great, see you then.
2694 Peachtree Road
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Covert Kitten
Attorney on phone: Yeah, I told my wife I’d be home late. We can get together for an hour or two. Can’t wait to feel you inside me.
Broad Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Female suit on cell: I can’t understand why they couldn’t just fix him up there in Baghdad… It was only his arm… And it was still attached!
North Charleston, South Carolina
Employee: Okay, I’m going to hang up now, but I want you to continue talking.
524 West 57th Street
New York, New York
Woman on phone with son: Jason*! Jason! I can’t talk to you now. I’m in a meeting… I know I’m always in a meeting… I can’t try not to schedule meetings when you get out of school. Yes, you can talk to me for three hours when I get home… I can’t listen to what happened to you today, Jason! Don’t call me back, do you hear me, Jason?! [Hangs up phone. It rings again.] Oh my god, why do kids need attention?!
Rochelle Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: Cubicle Right Outside
Young man #1: Would you rather take a shit right here in the mall and get arrested and laughed at, or have Mike Ditka sit on your face?
Young man #2: Dude, I’m on the phone… No, Mom, that was just some guy… Mike Ditka is an old football coach, Mom… No, he’s not here, he’s in Hollywood or somethin’.
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Receptionist: Thank you for calling ABC Company*. How may I assist you?
Caller: Is Bob*, Tom*, or Larry* available?
Receptionist: Yes, sir, all three are available. Do you have a preference?
Caller: Sexual?
Receptionist: [Long, awkward silence.] No, sir, I meant do you have a preference for who you’d like to speak to?
Caller: Um… Just pick whoever’s cutest and makes more money.
Receptionist: Ummm… Okay… It’s a pleasure to connect you…
16th Street and L Street NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: I can’t believe I work here…
Coworker on phone: Well, while you’re waiting you should warm up the manatee.
11150 Santa Monica Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
