Receptionist on speaker: I’m sorry. [Chris] is still on the phone. Would you like his voicemail?
Customer: No. I am afraid he won’t call back, and this is an emergency.
Receptionist: I can put you on hold again. But he has had a lot of calls today, and I don’t know how long it will be before you can speak to him.
Customer: I would like to kick his butt.
Receptionist: I’m sorry. You will have to stand in line to do that.
5711 East FM-40
Lubbock, Texas
Boss on phone: All the invitations said black tie, so I bought a white shirt and a black tie and wore that.
8800 West Sunset Boulevard
West Hollywood, California
Overheard by: Cpt. Rombone
CSR on phone: Sir, would you mind slowing down just a little bit?You’re really giving me a lot of information, and it’s not really
registering in my brain because I’m still trying to type in all the
other crap you told me.
5129 Beverly Glen Village Lane
Norcross, Georgia
Co-worker on phone: Ma’am, my language will not improve. If a mugger knocked me over the head and stole my wallet, I would speak to him pretty harshly to say the least. So don’t expect me to talk professionally to you.
1910 South Highland Avenue
Lombard, Illinois
Co-worker on phone: Isn’t someone’s name Forehand on the committee? It could be Foreskin.
3750 Market Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Co-worker on phone: Hello? I need to talk to the Chinese girl…I don’t remember her name…”Sing-song”, or something like that.
2300 East Prospect Road
Fort Collins, Colorado
Receptionist on phone: …And you sure you don’t have the ISBN?…Oh, you do? You’re delicious!
1230 6th Avenue
New York, NY
CIO on speaker: Time out guys, an animal just came into my
office…Cats aren’t allowed in my office till after 5.
2 Industrial Park Drive
Williamston, Michigan
Colleague on phone: We’ll just have to go down there and gang bang those sites.
Silence.
3699 West Lathrop Street
South Bend, Indiana
Co-worker on phone: The publication is called CFS Law Report…Yes, C…F…S…As in California, Frank, Tsunami.
360 Hiatt Drive
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida
