Investigative journalist on phone: Honey, please, you’ve got to get me those records. Without them we don’t have a story! In order to do this story, I really need you to get me those records, honey. I know you have access to them… Well, no, you won’t technically be lying to the police.
TV news show
New York, New York
Overheard by: Lindsay
Telephone salesperson: May I please speak to Eric Smith*?
Receptionist: He doesn’t work here any more, can I take a message?
Telephone salesperson: No, that’s okay, I’ll call him back.
1270 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: Brian
Drone on phone: Slammed, yeah. This new account is kicking my ass. Why is Burt Reynolds coming? I thought he was dead.
Braselton, Georgia
Girl: Is this gonna be one of those phone conversations where you talk to yourself for 10 minutes and I just kinda listen?
Student Union, East Carolina University
Greenville, North Carolina
Woman on phone: So, are we talking about the left-hand chicken, or the one o’clock chicken?
Kansas City, Missouri
Coworker on speakerphone with messenger center: Last name is Baratta.
Messenger center: Spell it.
Coworker: B-A-R-A-T-T-A.
Messenger center, repeating: P-V-R-G-G-A?
Coworker: … What does that even spell?!
1 Park Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Davey
Guy on phone: I’m single, I’m not tied-down, I’m Italian — what the fuck else do you want?
Cupertino, California
Overheard by: tmg
Homeowner answering telephone: Hola.
Telemarketer, in broken English: I am calling to tell you about a new calling plan…
Homeowner: No habla Ingles.
Telemarketer: Do you speak English?
Homeowner: No habla Ingles.
Telemarketer, speaking very slowly: Then I will speak English very slowly to you.
Homeowner: No habla Ingles, adios.
921 South Irby Street
Florence, South Carolina
Overheard by: Dun Ben Ther
Black woman on cell: All he did was look at my vagina, and I owe him 300 dollars?
Federal Credit Union, 2nd Avenue and Chestnut Street
Louisville, Kentucky
Coworker on phone: Quick, think of a biracial vegetable!
Seattle, Washington
