Dumb Bosses

1PM Vacation Memo

Boss: Did I forget to tell you that we will be open this Monday? I decided not to close the office after all.

Employee: For what?

Boss: It’s Labor Day, and I was going to close the office, but decided not to.

Employee: It’s not Labor Day! Memorial Day is this month, but not until the end of the month.

Boss: It says right here on my calendar it’s Labor Day. I thought it was weird that Labor and Memorial Day were in the same month.

Employee: Let me see that calendar. . . Oh, for God’s sakes, do you see that M by the date?

Boss: Ummm, yeah.

Employee: That means Labor Day for Mexico!

Boss: No kidding! Wow, I feel really stupid!

Employee: Yeah, you should! Happy Labor Day, Senorita!

4302 West Crystal Lake Road
McHenry, Illinois

Overheard by: Gramma

10AM Coffee Break

Marketing manager: Maybe you should have one pink and one blue for your kids.
CSR: Oooh, yeah!
Manager: Well, wait, what do pink and blue make? Purple? No.
CSR: No?
Manager: No, black and blue make purple. Or was it black and red?

421 Northwest Riverside Drive
Evansville, Indiana

11AM Sales Meeting

Director of Sales Support: If our salesmen were women they’d all be pregnant, because none of them know how to say no.

9898 West Bluemound Road
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

10AM Send [Tim] Over to Tech Support

Manager: [Tim], are you going over the off-site location?
Intern: Yes, I have to pick up the loaner laptop for [Kelly].
Manager: Can you drop this off to shipping and receiving while you are there? Might as well stone 2 birds.

730 International Parkway
Richardson, Texas

2PM Call Tech Support

Co-worker: I think my computer just froze up. The mouse pointer won’t move on the screen.
Supervisor: Did you check the batteries?

1350 Massachusetts Avenue
Boston, Massachusetts

11AM Review Plans

Assistant: Well, do you still have that copy of the Specific Plan?
Project Manager: I don’t know where it is.
Assistant: Wasn’t it on your desk yesterday?
Project Manager: Yeah, but I think it’s spread its legs.
Assistant: What?
Project Manager: You know, spread its legs. You know what I mean.
Assistant: Sprouted legs?

1580 Metro Drive
Costa Mesa, California

5PM Looks Like I’m Staying Late

Boss: We had so many ideas outside of the box we needed a box to keep them in.

1700 Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California

12PM Project Meeting

Manager: The first deadline is April 31st and second deadline is May 31st.
Employee: There’s no 31st in April…So we have just one deadline.

Cyber Gateway building
HITEC City, Hyderabad
India

9AM Back to Work

Worker: If you see [Jen] or [Jake], can you tell them I need to talk to them?
Boss: What for?
Worker: I just need to ask them about this thing for Thursday.
Boss: Oh, I don’t know anything about that. You’ll have to ask [Jen] or [Jen] about it.

120 West First Avenue
Mesa, Arizona

10AM Autopsy

Boss: I was hoping you could take care of it without a bunch of rigor mortis.

1701 Monterey Street
San Luis Obispo, California

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