Boss on phone with lawyer: Last year? What? I don’t remember last year. Hell, I hardly remember yesterday, let alone last year… Can’t we just make something up?
Pearl District
Portland, Oregon
Boss on phone with lawyer: Last year? What? I don’t remember last year. Hell, I hardly remember yesterday, let alone last year… Can’t we just make something up?
Pearl District
Portland, Oregon
Manager to self, while cleaning store’s sign: Scrubbing the N, I’m scrubbing the N… Cleaning a T, I clean the T, that’s right… Scrubbing the A, I’m scrubbing the A… [Reaches through the center hole of the A.] Scrubbing the A-hole, cleaning out the A-hole… Wait…
Valley View Mall
Roanoke, Virginia
Overheard by: Amused newbie
Service manager: We are not here to motivate employees. We are here to make them do their jobs.
Mavis Road
Mississauga, Ontario
Canadia
European boss: Okay, James* — make reservations for us at the Mayflower.
American lab member #1: What? The Mayflower?
European boss: Yes, isn’t that what we decided?
American lab member #1: You mean the Wildflower?
European boss: Yeah, the Mayflower.
American lab member #2: The Wildflower, not the Mayflower.
European boss: Right, right. Wait… What is the Mayflower? Oh, yeah, that boat.
Clinical Sciences research building
St. Louis, Missouri
Manager: What’s this? Everyone acts stupid all of a sudden.
2300 Plano Parkway
Plano, Texas
Overheard by: Lauren
Boss: You know, if you’re behind the train, then you’re probably driving on the tracks again.
200 West Oak Street
Fort Collins, Colorado
Office manager: Have you ever seen the images from an MRI? It’s amazing the beautiful colors that are inside of our bodies!
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: glorified gopher
Manager: Earlier today my dad almost got eaten alive by our chickens.
7th Street NW
Washington, DC
Boss on phone with client: So, what’s been going on? In a new company? You spreading your legs and taking it all in?
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: only female in the office
Quality manager: Well, why doesn’t it work?
Software manager: Because we didn’t write it that way.
Redmond, Washington
