Dumb Bosses

10AM Board Meeting

President: You really need to stop asking so many questions and start figuring things out for yourself, especially when you are out producing jobs.
Worker: You’re right, I realize that. I’m trying harder.
President: And about this job you worked Saturday night; did you know what you were doing there?
Worker: To be honest, I wasn’t sure on some things.
President: Well, did you ask anyone what your role was supposed to be? If you don’t know something you really need to start asking questions. People are here to help you.

200 West 57th Street
New York, NY

We’ll Be Married 10 Years This April

Supervisor: I hate Jane Murray* with such glee, my hate for her actually brings me joy.

Manahawkin, New Jersey

Everyone Else Was Afraid of Heights

Proud boss, hands on hips: I got a call from my wife today. I’m going to be Jesus Christ tomorrow in my church play!

Nashua, New Hampshire

Overheard by: freakazoid

At Least He Could Say the Lipo Scars Are From Iraq

Boss: I would love to be the male equivalent of Tara Reid.

98 San Jacinto Boulevard
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: amused

12PM Revisit Questionnaire

Suit #1: All my clients complain that the questionnaire package we require is too onerous.
Suit #2: Really? I never get any complaint about ours.
Boss: Well, have you ever seen his package? Maybe you two should get together and compare packages.

245 3rd Avenue
New York, NY

Full of Empty Pizza Boxes

Manager: Everybody who was smoking pot in here last night is fired! … Okay, looks like I have a vacant building.

Schenectady, New York

Overheard by: fired

“Please forgive me; I’m demilingual.”

JP Morgan Office Manager: Do he know he have a meeting? Her said he have a meeting.

38 W. 75th Street
New York, NY

I Need Plausible Deniability Regarding His Whereabouts

Boss: He's going to either London or England. I'm not sure which.

Pasadena, California

Overheard by: Paper Pusher

11AM Meeting with NJ Branch Folks

Co-worker on phone: When you get out of the subway station start walking North–
Manager: Don’t tell them that…your North is different from my North and it’s a tarantula downpour outside. You don’t want them walking the wrong way in the rain.
Co-worker: Everyone’s North is the same and it’s torrential downpour.
Manager: Everyone’s North is the same? I always get my Norths mixed up.

535 8th Avenue
New York, NY

Overheard by: Angie Rowe

The Kind Amerigo Vespucci Used to Make

Boss: Mmmm! This pizza’s good.
Employee: Oh, yeah. This deep dish one is great.
Boss: Oh, yeah. I saw that one, but it looked too weird to try.
Employee: Yeah, it’s Chicago style.
Boss: Oh, that’s why. I like just good old American-style pizza.

Frost Bank Building
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: dizzle

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