Information technology director to management team: You know me – I’m not real technological.
125 S Congress Street
Jackson, Mississippi
Information technology director to management team: You know me – I’m not real technological.
125 S Congress Street
Jackson, Mississippi
Manager #1: So, what do we do if any of our employees don’t show up for the mandatory Ethics Training?
VP: You direct them to the supplemental Ethics Training, online.
Manager #2: Couldn’t we just write their names in on the sign-in sheet and say that they were at the ethics thing?
Melville, New York
Manager: I purposefully wore pants with strategically large pockets for the cowbell, but it still got stuck.
72 Marietta Street
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: deep pockets
Manager: We are not going to use anyone as an escaped goat.
Columbia Mall
Grand Forks, North Dakota
Bank teller supervisor: She started working there when she was 18, and now she’s 46. Yeah, she’s been there 36 years.
1813 E 9th Street
Hopkinsville, Kentucky
Overheard by: will66
Boss: I want to put new labels on these binders. The labels must be capitalized and all face the same way. [Tilts head to the left, and then to the right] I am just not sure which way I want them to face. I don’t know if I prefer to tilt my head to the left, [tilts head again to the left], or if I prefer tilting to the right.
Santa Cruz, California
Boss: Thank god for Emily Five!
Coworker: What?
Boss: Thank god for Emily Five!
Coworker: Huh?
Boss: You know — the whole London terror plot thing.
Coworker: You mean, ‘MI5’?
Boss: Whatever… Thank god they were there to make sure we’re safe.
1400 16th Street
NW Washington, DC
Overheard by: Neena
Boss to tardy employee: I’m going to write you up with a verbal warning.
Employee: … Wait. What?
Boss: Don’t be smart.
Burnet Road
Austin, Texas
Hick coworker #1: There was nuthin’ wrong with slavery. My family had slaves. They was like family.
Hick coworker #2: I know, I agree. My family’s slaves didn’t leave after emaciation because they were happy. We treated them like family.
Athens, Georgia
Overheard by: Happy I moved to a blue state
Boss: I don’t see it as a big thing, I see it as a thing.
Woodbury, Minnesota
Overheard by: I can’t believe I report to this guy
