Boss: Please stop reading up on our client. I need you to be able to do your job… It’s a moral grey area.
1320 South Val Vista Drive
Mesa, Arizona
Boss: Please stop reading up on our client. I need you to be able to do your job… It’s a moral grey area.
1320 South Val Vista Drive
Mesa, Arizona
Former military guy: Yeah, back when I was enlisted we used to joke that if we ever won the lottery that we would take off all our military owned equipment and walk out the front gate of the base in nothing but our underwear.
Senior admin: Oh my gosh! Wouldn’t that mean you would be considered AOL?
North MacArthur Boulevard
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Boss: I hate rubbing my hands on that while I’m banging away, so I cover all of the crevices with tape.
Portland, Oregon
Boss: We need to be the blind kids with the M16s playing soccer.
Suit: [Silence.]Boss: You understand what I’m saying?
64th Street
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Election board office manager: I don’t know if you’re aware, but every election you need to contact all the local funeral homes about absentee voting.
Worker: Ummm, funeral homes? Don’t you mean nursing homes?
Election board office manager: Oh, yeah. Whatever.
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Xanadu
Boss to another: Do not look up Care Bear porn!
1440 South Clearview Avenue
Mesa, Arizona
Supervisor: It’s too bad our schedules are getting so full. It used to be that whenever someone needed to get off, someone else could put out for them.
666 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: The happy new guy in the office
Manager: … So let him know that he has 60 cards here, and he’ll be charged for all 60. If he doesn’t want all 60 — say he only wants 50 — then take five away and bring those back.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Alexis
Engineer: Is your boss in? We have a problem — we have a little Aryan friend up on the second floor.
QA tech: No, he’s on vacation… Wait — we have what?
Engineer: A little Aryan friend flying around on the second floor.
QA tech: … Ohhh — ‘avian.’
Engineer: Yeah, what did I say?
Modesto, California
Overheard by: That’s not my job.
Female boss: Well, there’s other ways to handle it.
Male boss: I know. It becomes, ‘Why should I fire you when I can make your job miserable and make you quit?’
55th Street and 3rd Avenue
New York, New York
