New Hampshire

Proud boss, hands on hips: I got a call from my wife today. I’m going to be Jesus Christ tomorrow in my church play!

Nashua, New Hampshire

Overheard by: freakazoid

Boss to customer: Would you like to try my meat? It tastes just like maple! Ask anyone — they all tried it!

Lee, New Hampshire

Delivery lady, on phone: Okay, what can I get for you?
Customer on the other end: I’d like a medium pepperoni pizza with no sauce and a cherry coke.
Lady, typing on a computer: Okay, a medium pizza with no sauce, just plain cheese, is that correct?
Customer: No. With pepperoni. And a cherry coke.
Lady: Pepperoni… [types again] I’m just pushing all the wrong buttons tonight.
Customer: Yeah, I know what you mean.
Lady: It’s one of those days where you just shouldn’t have woken up, you know?
Customer: Uh… yeah.
Lady: At least it’s almost over though, right?
Customer: …right….
Lady: So you said you wanted a medium pepperoni pizza, with no sauce, a side of ranch, and a cherry coke?
Customer: No side of ranch.
Lady: Awww, but ranch is good for you!
Customer: …no ranch, thank you.
Lady: Fine, goodnight. [hangs up phone]

Hanover, New Hampshire

Overheard by: Will

Voice on phone coming out of an office: Really? Because I thought she only had one tit.
(cube dweller swings head around in disbelief)
Voice on the phone: You know like one of the Amazon ladies who shave their breasts off?
(cube dweller scurries away)

New Hampshire

Overheard by: David

Crazy IT girl: Do you have a knife? If anybody in here had a knife, it would be you.
Crazy IT guy: Serrated or flat?

Merrimack, New Hampshire

Library patron: It's not fucking inappropriate, it's fucking basketball!

Plymouth, New Hampshire

Female coworker: I do anything that comes in my box.

Merrimack, New Hampshire

Overheard by: Stefanie G.

CSR: Do you know the part number of the item you are looking for?
Customer: It’s C-S…
CSR: C-S? As in ‘cat sandwich’?

Braintree, Massachusetts

Sales rep on phone with customer: And then I spanked him and put him back inside. I was so mad at him!

Keene, New Hampshire

Female sales rep, poking head over cubicle: Sometimes I like to send my best customers pictures of silly things, like unicorns jumping over rainbows!

Keene, New Hampshire

Overheard by: Jon