Partner: I was the youngest licensed hypnotist in New York.
312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
Partner: I was the youngest licensed hypnotist in New York.
312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
Boss: Chinese women have no asses. They dream of having a big round ass. Like a black ass. You see that? That is a big black ass.
9925 Jefferson Boulevard
Culver City, California
Overheard by: Roland Kellar
Boss: Did I forget to tell you that we will be open this Monday? I decided not to close the office after all.
Employee: For what?
Boss: It’s Labor Day, and I was going to close the office, but decided not to.
Employee: It’s not Labor Day! Memorial Day is this month, but not until the end of the month.
Boss: It says right here on my calendar it’s Labor Day. I thought it was weird that Labor and Memorial Day were in the same month.
Employee: Let me see that calendar. . . Oh, for God’s sakes, do you see that M by the date?
Boss: Ummm, yeah.
Employee: That means Labor Day for Mexico!
Boss: No kidding! Wow, I feel really stupid!
Employee: Yeah, you should! Happy Labor Day, Senorita!
4302 West Crystal Lake Road
McHenry, Illinois
Overheard by: Gramma
Secretary: Why are these reports formatted so weird?
Boss: Well, because the Germans made them. Those Germans are weird.
Secretary: Hey, now… Be careful, I’m German.
Boss: Uh oh, you’re not a lesbian too, are you?
Secretary: Well, I’m not really German.
Main Street Financial Office
East Hartford, Connecticut
Brit #1: What the fuck is her problem anyway?
Brit #2: She’s doing that thing.
Brit #1: What thing?
Brit #2: That Canadian thing where they pretend to be all nice because they’re from Canada when really, [putting on Canadian accent] they’re just, like, totally backstabbing dipshits, eh?’ I mean what kind of idiots would settle in a place where it hits minus 30, anyway?
V Parku
Prague, Czech Republic
Manager: [Tim], are you going over the off-site location?
Intern: Yes, I have to pick up the loaner laptop for [Kelly].
Manager: Can you drop this off to shipping and receiving while you are there? Might as well stone 2 birds.
730 International Parkway
Richardson, Texas
SysAdmin: What users do you want me to move to the Gig Harbor office?
User on speaker: [Melinda] from Kirkland.
SysAdmin: I show [Melinda] as being in Reno.
User on speaker: Oh, maybe that’s her sister.
SysAdmin: Her sister is also named [Melinda]?…Hello?
User on speaker: Can I call you back on that?
8655 South Eastern Avenue
Las Vegas, Nevada
Assistant on phone: One time I was in Oklahoma and I don’t know if they do this anymore but they had a prisoner rodeo! They would release bulls into a pen and the prisoners had to get $100 bills stuck in the fences. Some would die but it was cool!…I mean, not that I would go again or anything.
900 North Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Co-worker #1: Can you believe the way that this memo is written? It’s like every statement is questioning.
Co-worker #2: Maybe it was written in Canada.
120 East Washington Street
Syracuse, New York
Overheard by: Donnie Baker
Regional Director: So our biggest problem last year was we tried to take over the whole world, and the whole world is a big place. We need to think small, concentrate on taking over individual countries first…like Wisconsin.
2100 South Priest Drive
Tempe, Arizona
