Copywriter: Were you looking for me?
Designer: Sorry?
Copywriter: Before, when I was in that meeting…it looked like you were looking for me.
Designer: Ah…Where I walked over, sighed, and declared “Tragedy”; I was actually looking for the coffee. The window to your meeting room just happened to be behind the machine. You guys have better coffee than our side.
12655 Beatrice Street
Los Angeles, California
Battleaxe: You know, pretty soon we’ll start to see refugees from New Orleans at this school…I’d rather that than the Muslims.
695 Park Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Carl Limbacher
Co-worker #1: Man, New Orleans has sure turned into something out of Lord Of The Rings.
Co-worker #2: Don’t you mean Lord Of The Flies?
800 Hennepin Ave S
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Employee #1: Where the hell were you?
Employee #2: In the bathroom.
Employee #1: For twenty minutes? God, I thought you were sleeping with the feces.
320 17 Avenue SW
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Co-worker #1: So do they have offices in the Northern part of Texas?
Co-worker #2: Yeah, like up in that chimney portion of the state.
Co-worker #1: Oh. I’ll show you a fire.
Co-worker #2: What?
611 North Broadway
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Tech guy: Did you hear about all the snow in New York?
Help desk chick: Yeah, wow! That means it’ll be heading here to California.
Tech guy: (silence).
Imperial Highway Brea
California
Angry boss: Aristotle is not Belgian!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Hear No Evil
Male coworker: I don't understand gentrification. I'm from Idaho.
Chicago, Illinois
Boss: Well, what can I say? I love my home planet.
1480 64th Street
Emeryville, California
Overheard by: Eve S. Dropper
Vietnamese coworker using cardboard to fix cubicle, happily: It's like being in refugee camp all over again.
Austin, Texas
Receptionist: What’s that?
Worker: It’s the Phoenix Project logo.
Receptionist: Why’s there a bird on it?
Manager #1: You have got to be kidding?
Receptionist: What?
Manager #2: Bird, Phoenix? Hello?
Receptionist: I don’t get it.
Clerk: Okay, the bird…it’s a phoenix.
Receptionist: Phoenix is a city.
Clerk: …Phoenix is, also, a mythological bird.
Receptionist: Named after the city?
10 Miles South of Battle Mountain
Battle Mountain, Nevada
