Writer: I told you that duck was evil.
Designer: I know.
Writer: But you kept trying to squeeze him in the layout anyway.
Designer: I know. He looked so tempting when I first saw him! But that duck was the spawn of Satan.
Writer: I told you he was a freak.
Designer: He lured me in!
16340 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: I don’t really want to know.
Designer: Do you ever wonder if some of the girls here were hired for their looks? Oh, I’m not talking about you — I know you were hired because you’re a good writer.
312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
Designer: Sure I’ll take a notepad. As long as there’s not cats on the cover.
111 East Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Hear No Evil
Manager: Why are you sending me comps at 1:30 in the morning?
Designer: Because I wanted to work on them at home, and then when I was home I couldn’t work on them until Loveline was on the air and I could listen to some relationship advice at the same time.
Manager: Oh, that makes perfect sense.
2001 Lind Avenue SW
Renton, Washington
Designer: Hey, you left your turn signal on. Better turn it off or you’ll run out of blinker fluid.
Secretary: Oh, okay. I don’t even know how to check that. I’ll have the guy at the dealership fill it next time.
201 Forrester Drive
Greenville, South Carolina
Overheard by: Ape
Designer: I know this stage like the back of my palm.
1438 North Gower Street
Los Angeles, California
Writer: What the heck is going on with you?
Designer: Why?
Writer: Because I messaged you like three times.
Designer: Oh. I didn’t see it.
Writer: Thank god I wasn’t sending you my suicide note.
Designer: You would do that through Yahoo!?
Writer: I don’t know. Maybe. Is it too informal?
Designer: Kind of. I mean like print it out or something. Then somebody could drop it in my box.
Writer: What font would I even use?
16430 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona
Overheard by: Miel
Designer: So I took the dead cat by the tail and chucked it over the fence and I thought, “Man. If the people at work could only see what a bumpkin I am.”
312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
Graphic designer looking at logo: Looks like a free hand job to me.
England
Overheard by: Johnny Bystander
Writer: ‘Portly’ sounds cute. Sounds like a nice, bald, fat man in a three-piece suit.
Designer: ‘Portly’ sounds like someone with grease stains on their shirt from dropping a piece of chicken.
Writer: That’s not ‘portly!’ That’s obese!
Designer: What’s the difference?
Writer: Obese is like those Subway ads before Jared lost his weight. When he was all wild-eyed and savage. Clothes all stretched out, nothing laundered, brimming with Big Macs and Crisco sandwhiches.
Designer: They should outlaw Crisco. Just straight out make it a crime.
Writer: Yeah.
16340 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona
