Attorney: Well, that client is single now.
Secretary: Really?
Attorney: I’m going to have to lose 20 pounds. Bring me my pills.

415 South Ohio
Sedalia, Missouri

Subordinate #1, middle-aged: So, how’s your broken toe doing, [Sara]?

VP [Sara]: It still hurts, but after four tries, I finally found a pair of high heels I can stand in.

Subordinate #1: Should you be doing that yet?

VP: I have a date tonight and need to look cute.

Subordinate 2, older: You shouldn’t be wearing heels yet. You’re going to ruin your feet so that when you’re old like me you’ll be able to wear only ugly shoes.

VP: I’ll be married by then, so it won’t matter!

208 South LaSalle
Chicago, Illinois

Creative director on phone: Maybe the guy goes up and kicks the bear in the balls…I don’t know.

111 E. Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Hear No Evil

Assistant: Are you stealing things already?
Marketing rep: Are you saying that because I’m black?

9401 West Brown Deer Road
Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Overheard by: T

Voicemail: Hello, this is Joe* from engineering, I’m having a problem with my computer, and was told you could help me out. It appears that there is a problem with my fixed dick…er, ficked disk, fisk dick.
[pause] FIXED DISK…..

4747 Harrison Avenue
Rockford, Illinois

Bible-thumping coworker: It’s my son’s 35th birthday today. I can’t believe my oldest is going to be 35.
Normal coworker: Oh? How many children do you have?
Bible-thumping coworker: Let’s see… I have three biological and one spiritual. But we’re much more than spiritual, really. It’s like we have this connection.
Normal coworker, to herself: Riiiiight.

100 Main Street
Cincinnati, Ohio

Older female: My Yahoo is full of spam.


Guy on bench: I know, this is ridiculous. I’ve been waiting three hours to turn myself in.

Precinct 1
Cincinnati, Ohio

Account manager: Hey, [the customer] wants us to come in and make a presentation. Are you available to come with me next week?
Sales director: No. What I’m planning to do is to put together an entire project team — sales, marketing, engineering, quality, manufacturing, maybe even finance. I want to show that we have a comprehensive cross-functional team in place, so that we look like we know what we’re doing, no matter that the customer asks.
Account manager: That sounds great. Who else is gonna be on the team?
Sales director: Well, it looks like just me and you for now. Ask me again next month.

28100 Cabot Drive
Novi, Michigan

Male developer: I want to make sure the data loaded correctly, pardon me if I’m a bit anal
Female project manager: I enjoy anal.

2025 Euclid Avenue
Cleveland, Ohio