Coworker #1 watching pep rally pass by: Why aren’t any of the guy cheerleaders hot? The girls are all pretty — the guys should be hotter.
Coworker #2: It’s kind of like… What do you call it? … Porn.
328 W Lane Avenue
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: (Snort)
Mother to son: Don’t play with that stapler!
Passerby: Happy take your kid to work day.
One Easton Oval
Columbus, Ohio
Test coordinator: You accidentally assigned the defect to the wrong application.
Tester: Okay, I’ll fix that. Sorry for the incontinence.
1111 Polaris Parkway
Columbus, Ohio
Security guard: Um, we have a problem here.
Traveler: And what might that be?
Security guard: Do you have any other form of identification? Your driver’s license is expired.
Traveler: No, it’s not… this is 2006.
Security guard: You may pass.
General Mitchell Airport
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Feeling Secure
Lady: Where are the eggs?
Sales rep at grocery store: I’m sorry, I don’t work here.
Lady, turning to husband: She doesn’t speak English.
Sales rep: No ma’am, I don’t work here.
1300 Elmhurst Road
Des Plaines, Illinois
Coworker #1: So, good weekend?
Coworker #2: I’m kinda beat. I was on my knees, hoeing all weekend.
Coworker #1: Ummm….Excuse me?
Coworker #2: Oh. That didn’t come out right. Maybe I should’ve just said ‘gardening.’
21500 Haggerty Road
Northville, Michigan
Guy in next cubicle on phone: Speak up! I can’t hear you because of the solar flares.
1500 West County Road
Roseville, Minnesota
Overheard by: I can’t believe I work here
ERT member: Sir, you need to exit the building for the evacuation drill.
Employee re-entering building: I’m emotionally distraught. I can’t participate.
Midwest
Hardhat: Don’t eat the tuna salad in the cafeteria. It made me throw up.
Suit: Food poisoning takes a while. How long did it take to make you sick?
Hardhat: About 5 seconds. All I can figure is, someone must’ve put fish in it – I’m allergic to fish.
7th Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Lady: What’s his new obsession with cocaine? Is that, like, his new drug of choice or something? ‘Cause I’m telling you, I’m about ready to have this baby just to spite him.
1548 Lee Avenue
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Fin
