Consultant on phone: Is a part of the transition plan cloning yourself?
330 University Avenue
Toronto, Ontario
Consultant on phone: Is a part of the transition plan cloning yourself?
330 University Avenue
Toronto, Ontario
Boss: Hello Shannon*, how are you today?
Secretary: Just fine.
Boss: You keepin’ outta trouble?
Secretary: Yes.
Boss: Oh… then you haven’t heard…?
Secretary: What?!
Boss: Nothin’! I’m just messin’ with ya!
1501 Woodfield Road
Schaumburg, Illinois
Overheard by: Pirate Wench
CSR: So then he goes, “This is Motorola, right? Because with that voice of yours, for a second there, I thought I called the wrong number” oh, but it didn’t stop there…he keeps on with “you know, like, a 900 number, right?” I mean, eww…I did not need to know that.
1301 East Algonquin
Schaumburg, Illinois
Manager to department head: That guy is a real Einstein, why did you hire him?
Department head: I didn’t hire him, you did. I call him Einstein.
Manager: You gonna fire him?
Department head: Can’t, you hired him, you gotta fire him.
Manager: Hey, Einstein! Come here for a minute.
Einstein comes up to manager.
Manager: Einstein, anyone ever tell you that you are sharp as a marble?
Einstein: Gee, no, thanks!
Manager: Einstein, you are just too sharp for this job, I have to let you go.
Einstein: GEE! Thanks!
12 Oaks Mall
Novi, Michigan
Guy on phone: Why didn’t you tell me you didn’t get the fax?
Pause
Guy on phone: Well I specifically wrote on the fax cover sheet, “If you don’t get this, call me.”
265 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Ray Del Savio
Boss: Where is Luke*?
Assistant: He took a day off. His brother got meningitis.
Boss: That’s a bitch. If his brother doesn’t die he will be a complete idiot for the rest of his life.
Assistant: How you know that?
Boss: I had it as a child.
101 North Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Suit on cell to his niece: Did I hear you scored five goals in your last game? Do you have any idea how grateful to me you should be for your athletic ability?
4555 Central Avenue
Columbus, Indiana
Partner: I was the youngest licensed hypnotist in New York.
312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
Designer: Do you ever wonder if some of the girls here were hired for their looks? Oh, I’m not talking about you — I know you were hired because you’re a good writer.
312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
Co-worker #1, speaking loudly on headset phone: Well, yeah, I can totally relate to backlog problems! I mean during that refi boom we were just wall to wall with boxes full of papers. We were up to our necks in papers! If the fire marshal would’ve come in here, I’m pretty positive that he would’ve shut us down!
Co-worker #2: Should he really be saying that to our vendors?
Co-worker #3: Well, if we ever get closed down due to our vendors calling the fire department on us, at least we’ll know who to thank for the days off.
1350 Deming Way
Middleton, Wisconsin
