Coworker: When you were younger, growing up in Mexico, you hated America because they had everything. You guys had everything. Then you grew up and you realized “the Joneses” were living right next to you and your parents were just poor.
312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
Lawyer: So you actually filed a copyright application?
Creative director: Oh, no, we just slapped a circle “c” after everything.
312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
Boss: Did you hear what Gwyneth Paltrow named her new baby?
Peon: Yeah, Moses. That’s old news.
Boss: I wonder what she’ll name the next one.
Peon: Well, it looks like she’s going in order from the Bible. It’ll probably be Caleb or Joshua.
Boss: You sure know a lot about the Bible for someone who’s not religious.
Peon: I worked in a church for two years, it’s hard not to pick something up.
Boss: Oh yeah? My mother’s worked in a church for twenty years, and the only thing she’s picked up is drinking.
800 East 28th Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: jearu
Hosting rep: Alright sir, I reset your password so you can log in.
Pause
Hosting rep: Are you ready for it now?
Pause
Hosting rep: Ok sir, it’s all capital letters… It is I-D-1-0-T.
4800 Concentric Boulevard
Saginaw, Michigan
Nurse: What is the single dose of Kaletra?
Nurse manager: 400 and 100.
Nurse: So 500.
Nurse manager: 400 and 100
Nurse: Right. So 500?
Nurse manager: 400 and 100.
Nurse: So wouldn’t 400 and 100 be 500?
Nurse manager: Well obviously you would get 500; I thought you could just do the math all on your own.
550 North University Blvd
Indianapolis, Indiana
Boss : What is that red thing on top of a rooster’s head called? I can’t find a description anywhere on the Internet.
Employee: Just Google ‘cock’ and ‘diagram.’
Bloomington, Indiana
Overheard by: Sailorette
Sensitive soul: She’s gotten heavier, so now I can beat her.
Central Street
Evanston, Illinois
Old woman: How dare you pick me up in a truck? I drive a Cadillac and you pick me up in a truck?! This is the last Cadillac I ever buy from you!
Manager: That’s not much of a threat, now, is it? Seriously, look at you. I mean, there’s not a lot of Cadillacs left in you, is there?
Car dealership
Ohio
Male co-worker: It just ticks me off that Elmo is more popular than Grover. My other job was really boring, and one day I was fantasizing…
Female co-worker, interrupting: I think we’ve heard enough.
20890 Kenbridge Court
Lakeville, Minnesota
Overheard by: Gigi
Salesman: I am so sorry I am late. My mom forgot to wake me up.
Manager: You’ve got to be kidding me.
740 North Larch Avenue
Elmhurst, Illinois
Overheard by: Albie
