Analyst: Lehman Brothers called about the kegs order.
156 West 56th Street
New York, NY
Analyst: Lehman Brothers called about the kegs order.
156 West 56th Street
New York, NY
Worker: So the Christmas party is mandatory?
Boss: Of course not, but if you don’t show you’ll probably be ostracized.
Worker: …And I have to sign a waiver to drink?
Boss: Do you think a company of lawyers would let everyone drink, then drive, and not cover their asses?
962 Coronado Boulevard
Universal City, Texas
Co-worker #1: So, I think I have decided to give up caffeine. But I can’t decide if I should give up liquid caffeine, or sugar caffeine.
Co-worker #2: You should give up the liquid kind.
Co-worker #1: Does that mean I have to give up my coffee in the mornings?
Co-worker #2: Naw, just cut back on the amount of pop you drink.
6700 Antioch Road
Overland Park, Kansas
Account Exec #1: You’re acting weird today. You’re like, high.
Account Exec #2: I need a juicebox!
462 7th Avenue
New York, NY
New Hire #1: So, what time do you think we’ll report to our boss?
New Hire #2: Probably in like an hour?
New Hire #3: No, probably later because we have to take the urine test.
New Hire #1: What? Why do we have to take a hearing test?
New Hire #2: No, the drug test!
New Hire #1: Huh?
280 Park Avenue
New York, NY
Co-worker: The network people are always sending around network interruption notices telling us that the system will be down Sunday from 10-2. Like I’m working then! Besides, this is like therapy for people with BlackBerries. Free yourselves, crackberry slaves!
50 Driveway
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
HR #1: She said she’s going to be on it for life! What kind of doctor gives you Valium for life?
Accountant: A good one!
HR #1: And what doctor would mix Valium, Vicodin, and Demerol?
HR #2: What’s this doctor’s name, again?
1776 Main Street
Springfield, Massachusetts
Overheard by: ribbon
Co-worker #1: I’m really tired this morning.
Co-worker #2: Why don’t you try Red Bull?
Co-worker #1: That stuff doesn’t work for me.
Co-worker #2: Well, have you ever tried it without the vodka?
2783 Lancashire Road
Cleveland Heights, Ohio
Office worker #1: Coffee, coffee, coffee…I love coffee…Here goes down…down in to my belly. Coffee is the greatest drug ever.
Office worker #2: Seriously, especially since you don’t get fat because it doesn’t give you the munchies…I need to drink more coffee.
Office worker #1: Yeah, you do.
9785 Towne Centre Drive
San Diego, California
Co-worker: I slept like a crack baby last night.
1 California Street
San Francisco, Califrornia
